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Please make an appointment with a grief counselor; you can probably get a phone consultation through your healthcare provider, even with the current pandemic situation. Keep your temper in check; you will get a free pass for a while due to your recent loss, but if you keep it up much longer, you will find yourself avoided and rebuffed. Unfortunately, I speak from experience on this one. I’m not trying to be rude or dismissive; just honestly sharing my experience with you.
My uncle also passed away in a NYS nursing home this month. CoVid invaded his larger nursing home. The spread was limited to 15 patients on one wing. Again, they don't know how it got in. They kept CoVId recovering patients on another wing with dedicated staff. It still got in.
You can ask for a meeting with the administrators. Don't accept "We can't tell you. It's HIPAA protected." That is not true. They can't tell you patient names but they can tell you what they know about how the virus got in. They may not know much yet. It takes time to study the genomes. But they can trace it eventually.
I was in the store buying more sympathy cards and a big stupid woman in front of me was spouting off about how this is a hoax and they are reclassifying deaths as CoVid because "they get paid triple." BY whom, exactly? I almost burst into tears. Sure doesn't feel like a hoax in my family.
It's a horrible situation and I am sure there will be some sort of an investigation into it. I'm sorry for the loss of your wife.
I don’t say this as an excuse. One would think that NOT sending sick and highly contagious individuals into a setting of vulnerable populations - for care, would have been a no-brainer. That sending the contagious folks to the large navel ship - that largely sat unused, if media reports are accurate - which was a much more secure space of true isolation would have been a better choice. At least for the sick and contagious that needed ongoing medical care but not at the ICU level.
Its kinda like the lockdown orders - which I do agree with - but...
our “leaders” are now finding themselves in the What Now? position. They recognize things couldn’t stay like that indefinitely - so now we reopen in a state by state, county by county, haphazard way that may or may not quicken the Second Wave - which the scientists assure us is sure to come.
If and when the Second Wave comes - and frankly, as we continue to deal with the First Wave - we
can only hope and pray that our “leaders” have learned some things and that further needless loss of life can be avoided.
I am sorry. That doesn’t answer your question. So many questions in all of this disaster and heartache that just don’t seem to have any answers. At least - no answers with a consensus agreement. I do hope you can find some recourse or at least some answers that can provide you with even the smallest degree of comfort during this tragic time.
I am so sorry for the loss of your wife.
Not sure this will help or if applies in your situation (an attorney will know), but found this for you https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/filing-injury-claim-against-the-government-new-york.html
Note there are usually time limits for lawsuits; this article states "90 days for claims for personal injury or injury to property."
I'm so sorry for your loss of your beloved wife of 54 years. Heartbreaking and appears much could have been avoided. The Governor should have sent sick patients to the ship Trump sent or to the emergency hospital that was built. You could try writing President Trump about what happened to your wife. You never know unless you ask and share your story. A lot of changes have been and are being made on the fly; your story and others with their stories could help make changes happen, maybe even a class action lawsuit.
Good luck & prayers sent your way.