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I think he was conditioned to a lifetime of putting up with her/keeping her happy at whatever the cost. It's all he knew, and sady, now my brother is doing it.
When my dad dropped out of hospice, he started chemo. From there, he only lasted about 3 months. He continued to care for my mom. My parents sold their house and moved into a motel. Yes, you read that right, a motel. They lived there breifly while my dad was getting his chemo treaments.
My dad eneded up going in the hospital for the final time in feb this year, only to be released back into hospice. He had to go into a nursing home. My mom stayed in the motel. She refused to join him, even when he was actually dying.
It made me sick to my stomach. She would expect people to pick her up daily, take her to him for a visit, then returm her to her motel and then take care of her there. I refused. There's so much more to this, I had to vent. I'm still grieving my dad, and I'm still mad at her. Ugh.
But long story short, she has been placed in a nursing home since a month after my dad passed away and she's been trying every single day to get out. She hasn't called me once though, and I won't call her, she's dead to me.
Thank you all for letting me vent.
I so hope u do plan on caring for Mom. Abused people should never care for their abusers. If she is 24/7 care, she needs to be placed.