By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
My ILs had bought plots years before and already had a gravestone in place with both of their names and dates of birth. The brothers could agree to cremation - their parents wanted the whole fuss of embalming, transporting the bodies back to their home state, caskets, viewing and traditional burial. The parents had left enough money to pay for it, yes, the money would have reduced their children's inheritance.
My husband worked a compromise- he went along with doing the cremation, he insisted the ashes had to be buried in their plots. They did get a lovely memorial service with giant flower arrangements instead of caskets and a big church basement buffet afterwards.
The brothers refused to attend the memorial service. They did come to the burying of the ashes - as long as it was only going to be the brothers, spouses and children. One of them had the nerve to ask "what no minister?" My husband told him, "if you want the part with the minister, you need to attend the memorial service this afternoon".
Since it was a rural cemetery and live plants were allowed, we planted flowering bushes and placed their ashes at the bottom of the holes with the fertilizer.
The funeral home, who had arranged for the gravestone years earlier, sent the engraver by to carve in the date of their deaths.
While this wasn't what the parents wanted, at least their ashes were buried where they intended their remains to be, instead of "somewhere fun to go".
the Funeral Director knows me personally. Hope after 6 yrs if exs ashes are still there, he would call me. He is owed $2300 and we had people willing to help pay it so he can be buried in a Vet cemetery. SonIL called there and was told, by the son, his sister finally picked them up. Dad, senior director, says no. Exs sister has not been in contact with any of us or her family here.
People tend to want to put on a show when a loved one dies, it seems.
Mom's funeral was all pre-paid and pre-planned. We had to choose flowers, which took all of 2 minutes.
I suggested a family dinner at a nearby 'family style' diner and was told by OS that HER family didn't want to come. YB's family was having dinner brought in by neighbors for just THEIR family. YS's Dh doesn't like any of us and won't socialize with us.
My family went to the diner and had a nice meal. Frankly, after 10 days of waiting to get the funeral over with--I was exhausted and just wanted to go home and cry.
My OB died 10 years ago and the instructions he left for his last wishes would have cost about $15,000. He left this world, deeply in debt to pretty much everyone. My mom wanted us kids to pitch in for a funeral and YB said "Yeah, if he hadn't died owing me $2K I might have done that." He was cremated and his ashes distributed to his kids and my mom. My niece was driving around 2 years later with a coffee can with some of her dad's ashes in it. She just didn't know what to do with them. My mom had her 'portion' in a cigar box on top of her tall dresser. I think they got thrown away at some point.
People get weird about funerals, for sure.
My best guess would be that they were worried about payment or anyone dying from Covid was dealt with immediately. Who knows but, they could have saved me some hassles if they would have told me he was already cremated.
I bet your exs remains are long since processed, whatever the financial situation.
Vent all you want.
I did the least expensive options for my dad and the cheapest rate I found was $1,500.00. Small town, one competitor. My stepdad was same, except it was 1k, big city, lots of competition.
Guilt for not having spent more time with the deceased, guilt for knowing they didn't help you when you really needed it (because it wasn't the type of help they wanted to give).
Fear because death scares the poo out of them as it circles in ever so closer. Also, they want to "help" by being "helpful" (i.e. foisting an unsolicitated opinion on you) which ironically turns out to be the opposite of helpful.
I'm sorry for what you've been through and going through. May you receive peace in your heart.
Cremation shouldn't be more than 1000 but you dont even have to have a funeral. You can also not claim the body and let the state take care of it.
Best way to shut this shit down is to ask how much money they are paying to help with the funeral costs. Good luck .
How fortunate for you that there’s nothing left to spend on such nonsense.
For any sorrow that you’re feeling about ANYTHING, my most sincere regrets.
You sound like a great person.
BE WELL.