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It sounds like Grandmother has had a stroke, has diabetes, and has some dementia. That is a heavy load to deal with. It is not fair -- life is not fair -- and I can understand your anger. Give some thought to what you are angry about. GM did not choose to have a stroke or to have her mind deteriorate. This is not the life your mother worked hard for. My husband has a disease called Lewy Body Dementia. We call it Lewy and personalize it. "Oh dear! It looks like Lewy is interfering with your concentration today. Let's put this away until tomorrow." We both can get mad at Lewy. The anger is still there, still real, but not directed at innocent victims. I think that helps, at least for me.
Do some reading on dementia. It can really defuse the anger and frustration to know that certain kinds of behaviors are to be expected, and that they should not be taken personally. Please do not be goaded into fights by a woman whose mind is slowly (or not so slowly) failing her. She has lost some of her ability to be rational, but you have not. That is a sick game -- don't let her drag you into playing it with her.
It could be correct that nothing you say is right -- not because you are a devil monster but because nothing is right in your grandmother's demented mind.
I find that it helps to write things down for my husband, especially when I leave the house. I not only tell him that I am going to the drugstore and will be back by 4:00 and remind him of which button to press to call my cellphone, I also leave a note "Drugstore. Back by 4:00. Love You."
It is not true that "it is just us." Please contact your county's Social Services, explain about Grandmother living with you, and ask for an assessment. These people are very up-to-date on what is available in your community, what your GM might be eligible for, volunteer programs, elderly waiver programs -- all kinds of things that I certainly didn't know about until a social worker came out and guided me.
This is an awful situation. I sincerly hope that you can find happiness again soon.
Do what Jeanne suggested. Call your local county social services. If you can't find their individual listing, just call the main information number for the County you live in and ask them to put you in touch with Social Services. Also, ask if they know the number for your local Area on Aging. Both are god sends to making all of your lives better. Good luck and please stay in touch. Cattails.
You are such a caring person and you need and deserve a life too. One of my kids was away at college when their grandmother lived with us. She had wanted to move back home and commute to school, but "home" was not the same anymore.
I can understand how you feel like running away. My heart goes out to you. Is assisted living or nursing home an option? Elder services can help you with this as well. Bless you for all you do and have done. Take care.