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Hardly anyone posts on our ‘jokes for the caregiver’ thread anymore.


I find value in comic relief and enjoy a quirky sense of humor!


Please share your favorite humorous ‘senior’ quotes. All other quotes are welcome too, something meaningful or inspirational for all of us to read.

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1) I told you that I don’t have Alzheimer’s.

I have some-timers. Sometimes I remember and sometimes I don’t.

Other times I just ignore you!


2) Don’t grow up. It’s a trap!


3) Old age is like underwear. It creeps up on you.

4) Old age is not for sissies. Bette Davis

5) At my age, I have seen it all, heard it all, done it all. I just can’t remember it all.
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Typo! Stupid autocorrect!

Should read, Humor can help someone get through tough times.
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My mother used to say, “I am too pooped to pop!” It’s funny how I catch myself saying this when I’m exhausted.
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This is a true one, told to me years ago by a colleague about her mother:

80-year old woman says to Dr: "My right knee has been extremely painful, to the point where I have a lot of trouble walking and going up and down stairs."

Dr. pokes around for a bit, takes an x-ray of the knee, then says "It's just old age and there's nothing that can be done."

80-year old woman replies: "My left knee is the same age and it's not complaining."
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Newbie,

LOL 😝
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Today, while eating turkey-rice-vegetable soup I made with the left-over turkey, she said… as she struggled to spoon it from bowl to mouth, “what is the green thing that won’t come in my mouth?”
uhm, I thought, picturing Michael Scott.
“celery”
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I’m at an age when by back goes out more than I do. - Phyllis Diller
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I loved Phylis Diller! She was hilarious.
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Think I'm going down to the well tonight
And I'm going to drink 'til I get my fill.
And I hope when I get old, I don't sit around thinking about it, But I probably will
Yeah, just sitting back
Trying to recapture,
A little of the glory of...
Well, the time slips away,
Leaves you with nothing, mister,
but boring stories of glory days.
- Bruce Springsteen
(apologies to my kids but, you know, I used to be cool)
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Ana,

Springsteen is cool and you’re still cool! You don’t have to apologize to your kids! 😆

Bounce,

Laughter saved my sanity throughout my years! Humor is incredibly powerful!
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Oh Bounce, don’t encourage me. I got a million of ‘em.

My husband’s fav: One afternoon my mother came over, dramatically dragging herself along, using a mop for support. She wanted us to see how weak she’d become. She said she was so weak she couldn’t even make it the few feet over to her walking sticks. But she managed to walk down her porch stairs and to our house (we were neighbours) to put on the display. Then a friendly neighbour drove up, and she was miraculously cured, scampering off to chat.
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Nhwm, a lot of our parents used that phrase, Too Pooped To Pop. It is a Chuck Berry song released in 1960:

Too Pooped to Pop
Lyrics

Casey is an old man who wants to be a teen
He goes to all the dances, and they call him cha-cha King
He cha-chas when the band is playin' rock 'n' roll
He tries to keep in time, but the beat leaves him cold

Because he's too pooped to pop, is too old-school
Hips gettin' weaker when he tries to do this stroll
And every time his feet get to go in one way
Here comes a new dance, and it's goin' to stray
Chicks told Casey, "You better move man"
This is only a one-night stand
Casey wasn't in time, but he was dancin' awhile
'Til a cramp caught his leg and he had to change his style

Because he's too pooped to pop, is too old-school
Hips gettin' weaker when he tries to do this stroll
And every time his feet get to go in one way
Here comes a new dance, and it's goin' to stray
Because he's too pooped to pop, is too old-school
Hips gettin' weaker when he tries to do this stroll
And every time his feet get to go in one way
Here comes a new dance, and it's goin' to stray

Casey finally learned to do the hoochie koo
This might have been fine back in '22
Now, I'm gonna give you fellows just a little tip
If you wanna keep your girl, you'll better get hip

Or you'll be too pooped to pop, too old-school
You hips are gettin' weaker when you'll try to do the stroll
And every time your feet gettin' to go in one way
Here comes a new dance and you'll be left to stray.

You can see him sing it on a YouTube video.
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Lea,

That’s right. 😊.

Thanks for the memories. I saw Chuck Berry at our Jazz Festival here in New Orleans. He was so much fun to watch to see. Everyone was singing along with his music!
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My brother in law once said he wanted to live to 100. My father responded with “ I would not want to live to 100, I don’t think I would be able to stand being around myself anymore after 90 or so “.

I once had a neighbor in his upper 90’s who would always say goodbye in this way
“ Maybe we will talk again . At my age I don’t bother to buy green bananas .”
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Way,

I love the green banana quote!
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I just wanted to remind everyone that it is time to set your scales back 15# for the holidays!

My granny used to say about lazy people, "she just runs around like a head with her chicken cut off." (For those that have never seen a chicken decapitated, the head is the only part of that chicken that doesn't go berserk.)

i still use this saying when I am overly busy. Not the same context as granny but, reminds me of her every time.
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ITRR,

My grandma and mom said that too! That was a very common expression back then.
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'Youth is wasted on the young'.


~Oscar Wilde



'I'm going to die doing it. An old dog can learn plenty from a new trick'.

~BurntCaregiver's father at about the age of 85.
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Burnt,

I love so many things that Oscar Wilde said!

Hey, your father sounds like he had spunk! My mom’s dad was that way. I adored my grandfather! He was larger than life to me when I was a kid. The man never stopped. The only time he rested was when he was watching a baseball game, a western or Lawrence Welk.
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ITRR,

Have you heard this one from your granny? If my grandma was really upset with someone she would say. “He isn’t worth the powder to blow him to hell!”
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@Need

My father was definitely a character.
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Need, my family would say, "He isn't worth the powder to blow him up." Also said often, "If brains were dynamite, he wouldn't be able to blow his nose."
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We recently placed my 95 yr old dad into high level assisted living, one day I brought over several paintings and other pieces from home to hang in his new place. I thought that he would really enjoy that. He looked at them and said, “these belong in my home. I don’t live here. Take them home.” He’d been there for 5 months and his condition hasn’t changed. When he was distracted later doing something else, my brother and I hung up all the pieces and made the room look very homey. He’s never said a word.
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ITRR,

I hadn’t heard the dynamite one. Funny!

Nelson,

So interesting how your dad reacted to the paintings, isn’t it?
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A friend asked how I was doing. My mom is in memory care and fell and broke her hip. She's in skilled nursing currently and I just finished my infusions for lymphoma. Being a bit overwhelmed and tired it hit me as hilarious! I said "really well; my socks match today, and I fed the dogs twice! Literally tears of laughter. It felt so good for both of us.
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Laurie, I pray that your treatment is successful and that The Lord touches you and heals you completely. May HE touch your mom and give her healing, peace and comfort, both of you actually.

I have to say, I bet your dogs didn't argue one bit about double kibble. Mine will try to tell my hubby that they haven't been fed, 5 minutes after I feed them. Sneaky big buggers.

I got a good laugh from your story.
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Laurie,

I agree with ITRR. I am sure that your dogs loved double dipping!

I will keep you in my prayers. Laughing is good for the soul. I’m so glad that you had a good laugh.

You made me laugh talking about socks matching. My youngest daughter would not match her socks on purpose! It was some silly trend going on.

It drove my mother nuts because she was a perfectionist and very fashionable even in her older years. I could have cared less if her socks didn’t match! LOL
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My FIL did not allow anything hung on the walls either . He never wants to admit he belongs with these old people or that he needs AL . FIL is going on 90.
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Laurie ,

Thanks for the laugh .
I truly hope you are better soon . 🫂
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Bumping this up....
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