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Meh .. it's 4am and I'm awake, so what the heck. 5 o'clock somewhere?
This is a hoot of a thread. Thanks!!
Only funny I can think of is a true one ...
I used to be Customer Service for a computer company decades ago (yeah .. seriously .. this 'home' computer retailed for about 10K, then the PC came along and put it outta business). Anyway .. we'd get calls about all kinds of problems and issues, but the capper was from a caller where I had to put them on hold for a minute while I laughed my a$$ off. To get the funny part: the computer was issued with a specialized keyboard. No Function keys. No F1, F2, F3, etc .. every key had a name: Save, Print, Retrieve, etc. Pretty nifty actually. Also had a STOP key. Worked, too.
So, back to the caller. He's new to the computer thing. And apparently common sense. Had just finished reading some of the instructions that said, "To make the screen 'wake up' just press any key," but was thoroughly confused, so he called in, asking, "Where's the ANY key?"
notice some of ya live in indiana . hey me too ...
captain - i feel like i know you ! the way you talk and all . u and i will get along just fine .. my bro in law he takes care of his mom . my mil . dealin with alz ,
bobbie - we now have two captains here lalaaa .. hear you guys roar and cusss up a storm . pirate where is she ? missin my pirate , christina can sing on the boat ! love you all !!!
im ok but then im not ok ,, baahahaha xoxoxo
a lady went to visit her doc one day and she told him that her husbands anger was beginning to scare her. it was an every evening occurance. doc told her when the husband started getting bent to take a sip of water in her mouth and qietly swish it to and fro for however long it took hubby to calm down. 6 weeks later the lady tells the doc that the technique worked like a miracle and she asked for an explaination. well, sez doc. when your swishing the water around in your mouth your mouth is effectively closed. * snirk *
also i only have the jar of nickles and metric bolts but may i ask how much you charge NOT to sing?
Slow roasting pork shoulder for carnitas mañana. Yes, it's hotter than blazes, but I'm doing it anyway. Goes with margaritas and pico de gallo. That will cool you off.
Off to sing tonight. See you guys later. Hi LindaHeart!! love you! xoxo
Damn Fireworks! It's gonna be a long week!
Slow roasting pork shoulder for carnitas mañana. Yes, it's hotter than blazes, but I'm doing it anyway. Goes with margaritas and pico de gallo. That will cool you off.
Off to sing tonight. See you guys later. Hi LindaHeart!! I love you! xoxo
We don't skinny dip, We chunky dunk !!!! Hehehehee
What did pink panther say when he stepped on an ant?
Deadant......deadant...deadant.deadant.deadant!
A: get another sweet 80 yr. old lady to yell BINGO!
For sale: Parachute. Only used once. Never opened.
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Loved the chicken joke cap'n!
orange blossoms - LOL!! I think I peed a little...
Feel like I'm running behind, trying to catch up....sitting here sipping on ice water....oops, I mean ice...poop? Ahhhggh! I failed to prepare! All out of wine and forgot to put a couple of beers in to chill. Got no Cheetos either, but I did find a partial bag of Doritos....? Now all I have to do is find where I put my....my....what was I looking for?
(the dog and his balls)
Love the jokes guys! I am sooo bad at telling jokes. And don't really know any. All I have a true wacky stories. Like the time my roommate in college( years ago) came into our dorm one day and asked if I wanted to go away for the weekend to a cabin in West Virginia with a guy friend of hers and some of his buddies. Now being a "hippie" back then and quite carefree I said "sure!". Well, when we got to their delaptited truck we saw that we were the only girls with about six guys and lots of guns and a keg of beer. We were crossing state lines and we were all nervous as we were under age and at least one of the guns was illegal. So I turned to my roommate's friend and said " OK-here is the deal-if we get pulled over I am punching myself in the face and ripping my clothes and telling the police you kidnapped me" he shrugged and said " what the heck, it won't make that big of a difference anyways". TRUE! Funniest part--I ended up marrying one of those guys!
Let's just have fun! Even if someone tries to pee on us! Laugh! WhooHoo!