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Is your mother going to have her gallbladder removed? I note that she is over a decade younger than my mother was. Could your father handle her medical needs if it involves anything more than her returning home exactly as she was before? Could he handle changing the bag for a gallbladder drain? Putting on the special bag for walking? These things may not happen, but just be aware that they might.
The time may rapidly be approaching that neither of your parents should be living without help in their home. And it's not up to YOU to fund the help.
What is their financial situation? Do you have POA/HCPOA?
Your mother’s doctor has to order rehab. My father went to the hospital for heart surgery. He came through the surgery fine but sadly had a stroke while he was still in the hospital recovering from surgery.
There was no way that my mother could care for him at home by herself. We spoke with the hospital social worker and my dad’s doctor. An order was placed for him to go to rehab.
I did the same thing after my father died and mom went to the hospital after a bad fall. The hospital transported my mother to rehab. She did improve in rehab. I would absolutely push for rehab.
Stress to the doctor that your father will not be able to properly care for your mom and that you strongly feel that she needs the additional help of rehab in order to become well enough to go home.
If home health is needed for when she gets home. Your mom’s doctor can order it. I was very satisfied with home health services. Your dad will not have to have as much responsibility if your mom has home health in place.
Best wishes to you and your family.
Also contact the patient advocate office in the hospital; they may be helpful in getting social services involved.
Start with the Social Services. Tell them you have been unable to discuss these issues with Dad. Tell them about the alcoholism in the home. Then let them assess the situation and speak with the doctors.
If the doctor orders the rehab it should be taken as God's word. It is to be DONE. Don't act like it is a choice.
If your father is competent, then he is in charge here, and if you and your sister meet with Discharge Planning together as a united front, and no one will listen to you, then there is honestly no answer here that's a good one.
The good news here is that your Father did get your Mother into the hospital, because in many instances this sort of thing ends in death.
I am so sorry. Not everything can be fixed, for sure. I am glad you are attempting to gently do what you are able.
Tell them that dad is not capable of SAFELY caring for mom at this point. That to discharge her to home would be unsafe.
I would also talk to the hospital social worker about the entire situation. it is not healthy for them to be living with an addict, alcoholism is an addiction.
Wish you the best!