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I hired someone to get Mom to daycare because I go to work early and then I pick her up after work. Weekends are all about Mom and her needs and I sometimes feel like I have my life on hold with my husband, but I also do not want a nursing home. I commend you for doing the same and with 2 parents, its got to be harder. With medicaid, people at the daycare I met, they get free daycare, 2 hours am/pm 10-4 on saturdays and 9-3 on sundays off. I think thats incredible. I cannot babysit my grandchildren with Mom, she is too much work, and I miss being able to just go out and see my kids, or go anyplace, just when I want to, without a concrete plan in place. I wouldnt even need a lot of time, just some of it on the weekend would be nice. I pay $20 an hour to get out of the house and thats if I can get my morning experienced trusting alz caretaker only. I think you can take like $400 a month for rent on medicaid, not sure, but when your parents house does sell. Your brothers will get their share if its not legalized that it owed to you, did you take care of that? My siblings live close and take mom for 3 hours every 2-3 months ! Hardly worth the time. They do nothing and deserve nothing, and how they can live with themselves is beyond me. Thanks , love sharing stories and ideas. My mom is in late stages AD but sometimes knows me, and can walk maybe 25 feet before needing to sit. Some days she is great ALL day and some days she just whines and cries all day that she is cold, wants her husband and mother, it breaks my heart. I spend hours talking, singing, and touching her to occupy her mind, as she can no longer do anything.
Dad has Parkenson's and mother has Alzhiemer's.(Stage 3)
I was lucky, my husband is very supportive, because we both still work full time.
You need to apply for FMLA (family Disability Leave Act) as needed if you work.
We are both nearing retirement age. Our children are all grown and flew the coop!!! We hadn;t plan on becomimg a care giver at 60. My husband barely was getting use to being alone again after raising our 6 children.
But I was the only daughter, and felt guilty with mom in this cramped smelly, nursing home when she got a bad bladder infection, and even more confused. Dad did his best in caring for her but he is 86 and couldn't walk anymore.
Well, I called a family meeting and of course my brothers didn't want to help out...in any way.
My folks don't have any money, but for their social securitiy. They owe more for their home than what it is worth, so untill economy comes around we rented out thehouse, eventially we sell the house,
But most of rental money pay's toward taking mother to an Adult Day Care Center M-F .It has been a god-send taking her during the day
She loves it there, and they even bathe her M-W-F... We pay approx. $45.00 Per day, or 800.00 per month average but it gives me Respite time.And you can write that off in taxes.
. We turned one empty bedroom to a sitting room. Another room for a bed room and they use a bathroom that we put up grasp bars and utilize adapted equipment for personal hygiene, like an elevated toilet seat and a bench in tub /shower with hand held water nosell. You may need a portable bedside potty.
I clean and santize everything every day, Wash laundry...because Mom is Incontent and goes potty every where and any where. Right now she wears pull ups , and needs supervision continuosly in the evenings.Sometimes she dosen't even recognise what a toilet is.
We take walks, garden and draw pictures.Just keep her busy and engaged
.Invest in child gates,they really work. As well as night lights.
Talk with her Doctor about prescribing a medication to help take the restless and agitation edge at night, for sundowners syndrome.
It takes alot of work, but have someone come into your home when you need a break, like "visiting angels" My Dad is a veteran, and receives some benifits, that helps pay me with caring for them at my home.
If you had children, it's just like caring for children...
Most of all, Have a good sense of humor.