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These are a little stiff at first but get softer with washing. There's also a plaid one that starts out soft--good for wheelchair (you'll see it if you begin shopping for these).
Good luck!
She is beyond your help now. I wish you luck in finding a place for her.
Please don't under play the pressure sore on moms bottom. Elders die from these untreated issues all the time as they can turn ugly very quickly. Confer with her doctor about what products to use to treat this sore every day, and what gel cushion to put on her wheelchair to prevent new ulcers from forming.
If moms care becomes more than you can manage, look into placement for her as well. Dementia often reaches the point where it requires a team of caregivers working 24/7 to deal with appropriately.
Good luck.
My mother did not resist wearing pads and later pull up briefs for incontinence. Others on the site have also struggled with this situation and they will be able to offer assistance to you.
Best wishes to you and your mum.