By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
You could check to see if the house has been listed for sale or try to list it yourself. It's possible a realtor could answer item three above. The Attorney that prepared the POA should be able to help without a fee or a minimal fee. A Title Company in your state may be able to help because they deal with real estate transfers. These are just some ideas, not legal advice.
Listing the property on the MLS lets real estate professionals know that there is someone in charge of the sale, so if your mother’s husband tries to help her to list it, it will show up as a possible issue with two sellers trying to list the same property.
This is, however, likely to break the inertia. So be prepared to deal with reactions like him trying to help her to replace her POA if she can appear competent on a good day, or deciding he doesn’t want to deal with her care. It is also not impossible that he could apply to the courts to set aside the POA in favor of appointing a guardian.
Prepare a list of questions before you meet with the attorney so you have them organized.
I had VERY GOOD LUCK in a difficult situation, by using a lawyer to establish “guidelines” concerning my LO’s affairs.
Ten Legal Tips for Caregivers from the ABA Commission on Law & Aging
https://www.americanbar.org/content/dam/aba/administrative/law_aging/caregiving_ten_tips.authcheckdam.pdf
Time to pay a visit to the attorney who helped with the POA and provide the info on the deed to him and ask that he inform husband that funds from sale will be going to wife’s account.
Time for a trip for you and mom to have quality time together. This is a great time to see that attorney.
I would also record every phone call with both of them.
What is your rationale for this belief? I'm not challenging it, but it seems a lot is based on this supposition. What proof or evidence do you have on which to base your suspicions?
I wouldn't reach out to a family lawyer; you need someone specifically in the Estate Planning practice area, preferably in a firm which also has a Litigation practice area or EP attorneys whose practice also includes litigation, just in case the situation reaches that point.
A one person law firm isn't recommended. A firm with multiple practice areas can work together, relying on someone with expertise not only in the EP area but EP based litigation.
You could start your attorney search either with the State bar or local bar, searching for medium (say, less than 50 - 75 attorneys), to the very large practice areas (100 + attorneys). Check out the practice areas and credentials of the attorneys; they're typically listed on their web site.
In the meantime, gather your EP data for your mother, include a conformed copy of everything if you have it, and prepare a list of statements as well as questions to ask. Fees, likely hourly, would also be a subject about which to inquire.
You might want to add your profile the state in which you live and that in which your mother lives. You could locate a firm in your state, which would work with a firm in your mother's state. That gives you the opportunity to meet and provide documents, which the firm can review while it contacts a firm with which it's familiar in another state.
Conference calls also could be a part of the two firms' interaction, if difficulties or other issues arise. The firm in your mother's state could also be invaluable if your stepfather continues his apparent attempts to sell the house, and if injunctive relief is necessary to restrain him from attempting to dispose of the property.
I wish you luck and success in protecting your mother.
That kind of gives a little more background on the toxicity. When my Mom got married to him, over twenty years ago, he moved in with my Mom and struggled to hold jobs over the next 20 years. For about half of those years (a few now include being retired) he was unemployed for various reasons. He convinced my Mom to move away from us about a decade ago so he could go work and continue a career that he had previously worked. If he worked x amount of years, he would get a substantially better retirement package. She agreed and sold her home and they used the money from her house to purchase property in their new location.
A few years later, Mom suffered a stroke, and stepdad didn't really believe Mom. She moved away from him and back closer to us. This lasted for about 6 months and she eventually gave in to his apologies and begged her to come back. During this time, while here, is when she assigned me POA.
Over the years Mom had told me she would leave if she could, but she didn't have any money to do so. I have since been added to her bank accounts and they are basically empty. I don't have any visibility of his finances, but he has often told me how much of a struggle he is having because of this and that.
He basically has zero communication with my sibling and I now, because all he does is get angry at us. If we don't give in to his ideas or demands then we are no good to him.
We offered to move Mom in with my sibling. He would no longer be burdened with being a full-time caretaker, he could stay in the home they live in, and that we would like to sell the 2nd property and put that money into a fund for future care needs for Mom. He threatened to just divorce our Mom and leave her with nothing at one point. The last time I spoke with him, was in person and I brought this up again, and he told me all she could have is she could stay on his insurance plan and she could have her social security & nothing else, and that he had to look out for his own financial well being.
On a second note if your mother does not have a will or if possibly there is an outdated one it might be best to have a new one drawn up that specifically deals with the second property. I realize this all costs money but in the long run it may be money well spent. Perhaps the second property could be sold as she ages with the will stating all of this. You should be entitled to have theses costs paid for as has been mentioned. It is important to know the rules of the state that the second property is in also assuming it is in the state she already resides in. Hope you find a solution.
If they live in a community property state he may have a claim if income during the marriage was used for it, but he can’t sign to sell it on his own.
Your major problem is that he is providing care. This gives him easy access to getting her signature since she may be cooperative. The buyer has no way of telling that she may not be competent. You also need a plan for what to do about getting care if he resents any interference and discontinues care.
In the case of a question about medical it is important to see MD; Financial, see an accountant; and in the case of important legal questions, about which you cannot afford to be wrong, it is important to see and attorney.
Good luck. Hope you will update us about what the law says in your state.