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Some people with neurodegenerative disorders hire a live in caregiver. If you have private insurance, I would check what the coverage is for physical therapy and occupational therapy and home health aides.
Time for you to start helping her with the things that are difficult or impossible for her to do.
That way you can hire someone else to come in and help with the heavy lifting type things that you are not able to do.
I have to say that this is where the rubber meets the road in a marriage and really shows what type of character the well spouse has.
Here's to finding the best routine to ensure that your wife gets the care she requires.
To the OP, Jeff, don't ever let yourself feel guilty for not being able to do things you weren't able to do. Focus on what you can do right now to help your wife. If that means placing her in a home because that is the best place for her to be taken care of than you need to do it. Best wishes.
Home care for my mom alone would have been about 10K a month. Time to look at facilities which are also expensive, my area assisted living starts at about 3K a month, memory care at about 4.5K a month, nursing home about 10K a month. Care Homes are a good option where you can often get an increased level of care for less than nursing homes or memory care at 3.5 K a month, to start. Nothing about long term care is really what could be considered affordable.
See an elder law attorney about getting wife on Medicaid so you do not become impoverished.
I read in your profile that your wife has Parkinson’s.
Was your wife young when she was diagnosed with her Parkinson’s disease?
I took care of my mom for decades with Parkinson’s. She just turned 94. She lived with me for over 14 years.
Her neurologist has said that if a person is diagnosed at a younger age the disease will progress more rapidly. My mother was diagnosed at an older age, unlike Michael J. Fox who was diagnosed younger and the disease progressed much quicker.
Mobility is a huge issue as Parkinson’s progresses. Home health helps greatly if you can get the doctor to order it. Insurance does pay for it. Occupational and physical therapy designed for Parkinson’s patients can improve balance and strength.
Best wishes to you and your wife. I have witnessed this first hand and it’s so hard to watch. Parkinson’s effects everyone differently. Meds can help but as you know there is no cure.
It is very important to clarify how the facility handles the transition from self pay to Medicaid.
An option is to pay an agency to provide Caregivers and yes it is costly. If she is Medicaid she may be eligible for a few hours a day.