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People act like families investigating Medicaid are all gaming the system. Most people are just trying to responsibly manage their parents' estate- in my opinion. You really can't fault them for investigating the rules and acting according to them.
I worked in welfare programs and retired with a state agency. With politics being front and center these days and comments being made about people wanting something for nothing - some of those same people forget (I sure didn't) that they called me at one time to ask "How do I hide my parent's money, property, house, etc" Or, what should I put on this application for a Medicaid nursing home bed about my mom's savings account". My answer was always the same - you tell the truth because once you use up her money, she will be eligible for the Medicaid bed. There was no way I was going to give advice to circumvent the system and lose my job. So what it comes down to, politically, is that there are some people who detest the thought that someone might get something for free UNLESS they are the recipient. Then the story is 'I worked all my life and paid taxes" No, you didn't earn a penny of your mom's money - she did. You just want to get your hands on something you did not earn.
My job was always a joke at a gathering of family/friends/etc. Someone had to mention what a welfare recipient looks like, however they would never identify their own Medicaid mom as being what a welfare recipient looks like. --They told me about all the cadillacs parked in our parking lot. 1)The car might have belonged to a working employee 2)large, older gas guzzling cars have been cheap to buy for years. 3) i work there and have yet to see a parking lot full of cadillacs. --Then there was the Food Stamps and depending on what race the person was who was talking, an opposite race would be mentioned saying it was all that particular color getting welfare. I got denied because I'm white, black, brown, etc. NOT. The rules are the same regardless of color. You're either eligible or not. -- And always knew someone getting thousands of dollars from welfare. Don't think so. People survive on welfare, they don't create huge savings accounts. And I happen to know the maximum amts for each program. Yes, a few cheat (and I worked in investigations) - but I saw far more people who could afford medical care/facility care for an aging parent trying to hide assets than I did cheating Food Stamp recipients. Some of them got away with it because they were lucky enough to move the money prior to the 5 year look back period.
I actually overheard a lady whose mom was in the nursing home having a conversation with her friend. The friend asked how much it cost a month to be in a nursing home. The woman replied, we don't pay anything. I made my mom destitute so she would get a free Medicaid bed. We moved all her money over 5 years ago while she was still living at home. I thought to myself - what a wonderful daughter you are to make your own mother a pauper.
My parents had money & a big CA house near the beach. Then dad got cancer & they spent all savings/reverse mortgage to pay for his non-helpful chemo then experimental drugs. Poverty & dementia hit my mommy hard as soon as dad's funeral was done.
Moved her in with me, her only child, until while I'm at work, she walked into highway traffic thinking she was "crossing" her childhood street. Again.
With my own health, job, & finances in tatters to juggle care for her at home, I relented to Medicaid for mommy's 24 hour memory care because there's no personal money left. Awful. Heartbreaking. With COVID I can never kiss or hug her. But, she is safe now & is "ok" with her routine. I'm thankful for Medicaid for my mommy's protection & care.
Medicaid was NEVER the plan. It's a safety net.
It was her money, my father had made it, and that’s what he would have wanted.
Had she lived much longer, she would have gone on Medicaid after all of her assets were expended.
I never regretted handling the situation as I did.
I had similar experiences to many of the others who posted here. I went to an EC attorney 5 years ago with legitimate questions when my LO first became ill. Questions such as what can and can't I do as POA when LO doesn't recognize he needs help and isn't cooperative, how do I keep appropriate records, etc. Attorney automatically assumes I'm there for a consult about getting LO on Medicaid. Of course I was very new to all of this at the time, didn't know which way was up, so I didn't assert myself and say that that's not why I was there. The whole appt focused on how to shift assets to get on Medicaid, and at the end of the appt, atty told me she'd handle the application for $15,000! I'll skip a lot of details, and just say that I decided to not go that route.
At this point, LO's funds are paying for about 50 hrs/week of in-home care. It's extremely expensive, and funds are dwindling. Not to mention that I have to micro-manage the agency providing the care givers if I want it to go well. The owner actually told me that they don't guarantee to send someone for the scheduled shift. Of course, he told me this after several "no shows" rather than telling me this little detail when he was trying to sell me his service. Of course, I hadn't asked when I was signing the contract.
I'm in danger of going off on a rant here, so I'm going to try to get to my point -- if I even have one. Getting old in this country is ridiculously expensive, and most people don't know or care about this until they are in this position. I know I sure didn't. For the average person who is now working and saving for retirement, he/she can expect to pay at least 2 times more than his/her total yearly salary to pay for one year of care as a senior. How does that make sense??? You're no longer working, and you're paying out more to live than you ever made in a year while working. And, with today's medicines and medical care, this can go on for years!
I have no problems using LO's money for LO's care. It's their money. When it runs out, I'll apply for Medicaid for them. But, something has to be done in this country to make care more affordable for the middle class. We talk a lot about how expensive it is for child care -- which it is -- but from my experience, we don't talk much about the HUGE expense of elder care. (So parents, just when you thought you made it through the financial crunch of child-care, housing, and college expenses, get ready to pay that much and more for elder care!)
Going through all of this with LO has opened my eyes and made me take steps to plan my retirement/life. I believe in paying my own way, but when I need care, there is no way I'm paying more to be taken care of for a year while retired than I ever made in a year when I was working.
I hope your dad is doing all right.
Many people are looking for ways to hustle the system and get a fat inheritance while their parents are put in a nursing home and many times just forgotten.
I can't personally imagine worrying about getting the house I want and was promised if it meant that my loved one had to go on welfare for me to receive it. But it takes all kinds to make the world go round.
Because your mom has a disabled dependent adult child I highly recommend that you go to www.nelf.org and find a certified elder law attorney in your area and have them help you. He needs to be protected as much as mom, they will be able to help you ensure that he is taken care of in the event that mom no longer can.
I was cheering your post, hustling the system is a hot button for me. I have seen people that needed the aid and could not qualify while others that didn't need it shielded their assets to qualify. The lack of integrity that takes is gut wrenching and the ones that suffer are the ones that didn't have anything to hide.
God bless you on your journey, may you find a great attorney and be filled with strength and wisdom.
As for my brother, my mom back in 2016 worked Thoroughly with a very prominent special-needs lawyer/ estate planner.
He has proper trusts set up for him with me as POA, Got all the proper assessments so he could qualify for certain funding, as well as Medicaid and Social Security.
When my mom started to decline, his plan went on the back burner, so I had to rummage through notes to figure out what she did. After some digging, I was able to pick it back up with social workers and after five months of working hard he’s getting very close to having his future set.
I’m on the homestretch for that!! wish us luck in that category as well!