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I live in an Independent Living facility and hear many complaints (of all sorts) from fellow residents. Sometimes my answer to them is, "hey, I know just what you mean!" and I describe my own. Sometimes, it's kind of reassuring to know that others have similar problems. Sometimes it even allows us to laugh at ourselves a bit. And that's healthy! If the complaints get annoying, I know how to distance myself a bit.
I try to be optimistic about people. Which means if I see someone oversharing, it is because they are overburdened, and they're looking for someone else to tell them "Oh this is normal we're all this borked at this age"
I just hear my aunt saying "OLD AGE ISNT FOR SISSIES" on repeat at least 3x every conversation. :D
(My grandmother had a phone friend who could go on and on so she would sometimes ring her own doorbell as an excuse to end the conversation LOL)
We all have people like you are speaking about in our families.
There was a time that I actually considered deleting the numbers from the phone and the provider servers so that he would stop bothering these people, and only leave the numbers of the people that I knew actually talked to him. But then I started to realize something. When he first started doing this about 5 years ago - he would get a lot of people who would pick up and some would even chat with him. You could hear him leave a voice mail or two and sometimes those people would call back.
Over time, fewer and fewer people picked up, no one returned the voice mails. Then before too long, only one or two people were actually picking up at all. And in some cases - the numbers didn't work anymore. Oh, he still tries them all. He's actually quite dedicated about it. But rarely does anyone answer.
My advice - just leave it alone. If people don't want to talk to her - they won't answer the phone. There are people out there that LOVE to listen to other people talk about their problems. They may be stuck at home and live for her calls. Let her make her calls and talk about her medical details.
It's when she starts sharing YOUR private life (made up or real) that you have to worry. If we could just break FIL of talking about US, it we would be happy as larks.
Maybe stream off their own medical issues (#1 topic) daily complaints, how the world is going, how the birds don't song like they used to etc.
Or if it has become a one-way doom call, the recipients will place their own limits. Find their own strategies.
I watched my DH be 'busy right now, can't talk' for many many calls.. hangs up, resumes his life. Anything past 'fine' or 'not so great' may gets the wind-up. He won't listen to medical updates unless just the bare facts, in 10 seconds or less.
But many others thrive on medical details & drama calls.
She's more than likely very lonely and just wants to be able to share with the few friends and family members that she has, what is going on with her.
Let your mother be and let her enjoy whatever outside communication she has, as I'm sure it means a lot to her.
You can plug your ears if you don't want to listen.
matilda
Don’t most old people talk endlessly about health issues? It’s either that or the latest ‘death’ of a family member or friend.
I’m sure others will cut her off when they get tired of it. So, don’t let her behavior stress you out.
Could she be lonely? Many seniors don’t have much socialization.
Best wishes to you and your family.
If conversations of aches, pains, complaints were eliminated there would be a lot of silent Independent, Assisted living facilities as well as gatherings of elders at local coffee shops, McDonalds and any other place more than 2 gather.
If her friends do not want to hear what she is saying they will tell her....after they have their turn talking about their aches, pains and complaints.
I tried a couple times to get mom to be aware that a couple of minutes of 'updating' a friend or family member was enough. After a half hour--everyone is worn out. She didn't want HELP, she wanted SYMPATHY.
When mom had a 'vocal' bird, she talked to the bird. Sadly, although it helped her somewhat...it didn't live very long. Her replacement birds were not chatty, so no help there.