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I’m now realizing how lucky we were than her house was all one floor, although there were some very tight turns. The funeral home had a gurney that could be tilted straight up (almost like a hand cart in this position. As soon as they had made the turns, they lowered it back to normal.
Related story:
My grandmother had a week of not feeling well no fever, no infection symptoms, but kind of tired and dragged out. So, my mom made an appointment for Gram to see her primary care doctor.
While sitting in the passenger seat in next to my mom, Mom noticed that Gram wasn't breathing - her dentures were kind of at half mast in her mouth. Mom tired to take the dentures out and Gram didn't flinch. Mom speed-dialed my sister (an RN who lived closer to Mom than I ever do) who said she would meet Mom at the doctor's office.
My sister called Gram's doctor and also notified the staff when she and Mom's vehicles arrived.
The doctor said Gram was indeed dead, but that he did not have the paperwork for a death certificate.
Mom had to then drive Gram to the ER so that the people there could write a death certificate. They also allowed Gram to be put into their morgue until the funeral staff would come to collect her.
In hindsight, EMS could have come to the house and written a death certificate. Then, the funeral staff could have come to the house to collect Gram. It would have been faster and less expensive.
Here in the UK, I called my mother's GP and she arrived at our home within an hour to certify the death. The next call was to the undertakers (funeral directors), and I was told they would come first thing next day. So mother got to lie in peace in her own bed overnight, which was oddly comforting. The coroner's office rang me a few days later to run a few checks - we have a system set up after Harold Shipman so that even patients on their doctors' "don't be surprised if they die" list get the courtesy of an enquiry without the ordeal of a full inquest.
If the deceased was on Hospice, call the Hospice contact number..
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My dad was in an upstairs bedroom when he died. We had been advised against that but weren't told why, but there really wasn't a good place downstairs with decent privacy, so we had a hospital bed put in a spare bedroom upstairs. What no one spelled out for me was that a mortuary gurney couldn't be taken up the stairs and make the sharp left turn at the top of the stairs to get to the bedroom. That meant that when Dad passed, my brother had to be drafted into helping the two mortuary attendants carry his body down the stairs to where the gurney was waiting. My dad had lost a lot of weight, but still, 150 pounds of literal "dead weight" was too much for two people to handle on a staircase, so my brother had to assist.
Please keep that in mind. If I had the physical strength to be the one to help, I would have done anything to prevent my brother from having that heartbreaking task.
Also, I helped the hospice nurse get my dad's body ready to go to the mortuary. One thing she did was roll up a bath towel and put it under his chin. People often pass with their mouth open, and it can be an upsetting sight. The towel kept that expression from becoming permanent and closed his mouth. I assume that was done with the thought that we might have had a viewing (we did not), and it helped him appear to be at peace.
If you think anyone in the family would want to see your loved one before their body is taken away, consider using the towel under the chin.
But you have really opened my eyes to situation we have with FIL. For some reason we have all thought of what would happen if he had to be transported to the hospital but it didn't even occur to us to apply that to his passing - I honestly don't know why except that mental block. He is in an upstairs bedroom as well - with a full hospital bed set up. One set of stairs (there are probably 20+ stairs) is blocked by the chair lift (closest set) and the other is around sharp corner as you described. The caveat being that FIL is over 300 pounds. So now my wheels are spinning on this on how we could even possibly manage this even with a lot of help.
I'm so sorry that you had to go through that too and your brother. That is one of the hardest times in someone's lives and having things get more difficult and complex adds to the stress. Once again my condolences for your loss!
In Massachusetts, an acquaintance came home from work to find his wife had died having breakfast at the kitchen table. He called 911 and in addition to paying for her funeral, he had to pay for the ambulance to the hospital and the ER visit- even though she was clearly gone when the ambulance arrived. The paramedics said they had a procedure that needed to be followed.
I would also put this question to your elderly parent's doctor. Before my mom went on hospice, I specifically asked her cardiologist if he would sign off on mom's death certificate should she die at home. I had her DNR on hand, in case there were paramedics on the scene. In NY, if there is a doctor who is willing to sign off on the death certificate, you can call the funeral home directly. If there is no doctor to sign, then the body has to be removed to the county morgue until such a time that a doctor can be found who is willing to sign. In some cases, the county ME will conduct an autopsy to determine cause of death.
Since mom was on hospice when she passed, the hospice nurse verified the time of death and called the funeral home.
If your parent isn't in hospice, this is really something you should discuss with your parent's primary doctor. They should be able to guide you.
I wish you well.
I ask, because depending upon where you live, you may need to report an "unattended death" to the authorities if hospice is not involved. Someone with the authority to do so much fill out the particulars for the death certificate.
I think after that, next of kin and the funeral home. I would try very hard NOT to be alone at the time of death.