By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Dad gets Supplimental Security Insurance (SSI)? Call your Social Service office and ask if he can be helped with housing. HUD will take 30% of what he gets. He will be responsible for electric and TV, which he can get the very basic. He would qualify for food stamps.
I would not sacrifice your marriage for this man. You all have done enough. Your sister maybe able to beat this. My GFs husband did. But she has to stop stressing out for a man who does care about anyone but himself.
similar in attitude and has wanted the life of a king as you put it. It broke my health and reserves too. How heartbreaking that your sister has become so ill, and that you dad doesn't respond appropriately. I can totally understand why your husbands are putting their foot down. As they should! I'm afraid some old people are really toddlers in so far as they are able to empathize. They are so self obsessed that they cannot even see others let alone care about the impact they are having. It's not personal, they have just never really grown up, but you need to be
proactive in making care decisions so that this childish selfishness doesn't negatively impact you and yours any further. Good luck!!!
BIL needs to consult an attorney about Medicaid Recovery on the part of home dad gifted. It will have an effect upon BIL's ability to sell the home in the future.
Unless dad has hidden assets or has gifted away assets, there are ways he can get qualified.
So when did this crisis with your sister's health crop up? What brought you to the forum today in particular?
Look. Here I am, a complete stranger, I've only just read your outline, and I've got steam coming out of my ears at the thought of two sisters blindly ruining themselves, one way and another, for the sake of a father of this sort...
What do we know about him? - He's 84, he's been content to depend on them for "years," and he continues to be the main subject of concern for two ladies, one of whom has got herself into debt on his behalf and the other of whom really does have more important things to worry about, and both of whom have husbands tearing their out. And he's sitting there saying 'what about me?' - And So Is Your Sister, in spite of her own stark troubles. That's what we know about him so far. I'm sure there's more to it.
... So I'm not surprised your respective husbands are angry. I should think they're fit to be tied.
It sounds as though your sister has followed the line of least resistance in terms of care, as you did in terms of finance.
Here are Father's wants. We must supply them. "To give and not to count the cost" is a fine principle among religious ethics, but not when it comes to rational planning of a parent's support.
What were you both thinking? You weren't, were you, or at least not past what Daddy wants Daddy gets and hang everything else.
It slightly worries me that you needed your husband's strongly worded objection to tell you that it's not a good idea for your father to move in with you. You didn't figure that out for yourself?
There isn't time right now for you to address the wider issues. This is an emergency. So, for now: your sister has accepted the need for your father to be admitted to the ALF for three months. Let's skip over the bit about who's paying for that (grrr) and focus on what use you can make of that window. You are paying for this service, so make the most of the facility's contacts and expertise and advice to create a plan that gets your father off your hands.
With your sister so ill, this is not the time to attempt to change her thinking. It does not HELP her to be told that the father she has given so much to has ruthlessly exploited her no matter how true it might be; and you cannot stop her caring what happens to him. So instead, reassure her that your father will be safe in the family's hands, which is no more than true. The method of keeping him safe is going to have change, that's all.
Step One, if possible: your father gives you power of attorney. To take control of this situation, you first need the authority to act. Is that going to be doable?
Also, because there are two sides to every story: how would his best friend explain your father's attitude?
What is so terrible about becoming a ward of the State? The State will look after him.
See All Answers