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My Mom call me their chil, I'm 52. I say no, I am your adult daughter. It's one thing to say our babies will always be our baby but when it is used to control or manipulate thats when we mature minded adults respectfully say, I love you but I am not a child and will not be treated that way.
I must be talking to myself because this is exactly what I've been struggling with for 3 years but I feel a sence of empowerment because I no longer struggle with making difficult decissions for my Parents...as much as I once did. Their total care was just droped in my lap. Now I do what I have to do thru careful consideration, research and prayer then I proceed because all I want for them is the best care and help to allow US to live worry free.
Have a Family meeting, talk to your Dad about your concerns, take him to a few nice Assisted Living Places to tour, dine some will allow a respite visit for him to stay over a weekend or week, at a cost of course. If he is like my Dad and still brushes it aside, its time to act in his behalf for him and you.
Does your Dad have assistive devices, wheelchair, walker etc. My Dad claimed not to need a walker but could hardly hold himself up. Enough! Thru Medicare we got a walker for him and he LOVED it. After a few years the walker wasn't enough, he balked once again and we (Mom and I) said ENOUGH! and thru Medicare we got him a pretty dandy wheelchair and he LOVED it.
Perhaps getting your Dad's Dr. involved will help. I wish you both better.