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I recommend calling multiple hospice providers to find one that meets your needs as good as possible. I personally like religious based non profits, I think that you get nicer people caring for your loved one, that's been my experience.
Is it possible for step-dad to take some FMLA? It sounds like she is getting to the stage that she can not be safely left alone. I would contact all of her friends and family and set up a chain of people that can help her and SD. We did 3 and 4 hour shifts with my sister and we fed anyone around dinner. This allowed for people to actually help and not be overwhelmed. We had a calendar that everyone could see the need and volunteer for time slots that suited their schedules. She had someone there 24/7 with hospice coming in to check meds and conditions and bathing her. They aren't going to be there to just be there, they come in and do a job and go to the next patient. This is where you all need to get people in place.
I am so sorry that your family is going through this. One thing that I want to share, my sisters cancer ate her spine and one day she started having spontaneous spinal breaks occur. This could happen to your mom, so I think that it is important that she not be left alone with her advanced stage and metastasis in the spine.
May God give her comfort and peace during this difficult time, may HE touch each one of you and give you strength and wisdom for this season of life. Great big warm hug!
If she is no longer doing any treatments for the cancer she would most likely qualify. And the fact that the Doctor has said she has 6 months. (this is a guide many people are on Hospice longer than 6 months)
Medicare will cover Hospice
Most Insurance will cover Hospice.
There are 2 types of Hospice NOT for Profit and a FOR Profit. In general the Not for Profit Hospice will not turn anyone away even if they have no insurance and are not on Medicare or Medicaid (they wold probably push through the application for Medicaid)
With Hospice you will have a Nurse that will come at least 1 time a week. A CNA that will come at least 2 times a week, more often if necessary. and there are typically Volunteers that will come and sit with a patient BUT they do not do any "hands on help" and typically they are there a maximum of 4 hours. (With COVID19 most Volunteer work with patients has been suspended though)
In your case even with Hospice you really should get a caregiver to come in and be with her while you are not at home. Some areas have Volunteer groups that will do this but again in most cases these have been suspended.
For hospice, the usual standard to qualify is that you are not expected to live for more than 6 more months, so your mom would qualify. once you are on hospice, your insurance becomes hospice insurance and doesn't cover any treatments or medications that are designed to cure - only treatments for pain and comfort care. So no chemo, surgery, radiation. But plenty of meds for pain and anything that brings discomfort, so possibly for things like high blood pressure, etc.
And hospice will help care for your mom through the dying process - they don't try to keep people alive as long as possible, or hasten their passing, but keep them as comfortable as possible throughout. There should also be a hospice social worker involved who can help with making decisions about the different options for care such as nursing home or in-home, the amount you are involved, even planning for what happens when she passes such as dealing with the funeral home.
I hope this helps.
Hospice should definitely be called and asked to assist at this point.
She is on dad's policy through work. She is also eligible for Medicare. Has she requested the coverage? Medicare has excellent hospice coverage.
You’ll get some hands on help with hygiene from a HHA but not many hours of actual hands on care - maybe 3-5 hrs a week. Thus, if you need more hours than that you can hire a aide from an agency to assure she is being taken care of and you two can continue to work.
Insurance should cover hospice.
Unfortunately her health will only decline and quickly. I’m sorry you are going through this.
The hospital social worker may also be of assistance. There may be some home healthcare, but, it sounds like she needs help around the clock. I hope you get some more responses.