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My adult daughter is my current legal all-inclusive POA. I am having increased mental health crises struggles and concerns. After four months of her avoiding having this discussion to update her, I realize my daughter is making my mental health crises all about her. I have told her that my mental health is part of my Power Of Attorney documents. Is she still willing to be my POA? She will not answer without being very condescending, cruel, blame shifting, and manipulative. I see her behaviors showing that she's no longer willing to help me in my time of extreme need. She is essentially abandoning me without stating it.
- I have no one else to fill this legal capacity that cares about me.
- She will not answer the question. Are you still willing to be my POA?
- Do I need to revoke her POA?
-Do I just seek out a county public fiduciary? I am very concerned about my limited choice here.
Signed,
Scared and alone
A POA cannot take over for someone because of mental crisis. In the United States a mental condition is not judged the same as dementia with incompetency. Almost NEVER does a court judge someone incompetent to manage their own affairs because of mental illness. So with your mental issues you will remain responsible for arranging your own affairs and your own care unless you have dementia, or are so mentally ill that no medications work and you require institutional care due to being a danger to self or others. That's very unlikely.
I always, in fact, caution families that mental illness needs to fall to the care of practioners trained in treatment of same. Families cannot in any way really address the problems of the mentally ill.
I don't know if you have read Liz Scheier's excellent memoir called Never Simple about her own mother's mental illness, or if your daugther has, but I recommend it to you both. You are well spoken and I trust you to get care for yourself from medical practioners.
No one can be forced to serve as POA. It is a horribly difficult job even when dealing with a well person who is always cooperative. And to deal with anyone else is well nigh impossible.
I wish you the best in good care practioners. There are no easy answers in mental illness. We know very little about the brain.
Desert Girl, if you want to ask questions on the forum you will get a lot more attention by posting your own question, rather than putting your questions into the thread of other posters.
Best to you.
The only time an already established legal POA should be replaced with guardianship is if the POA is being challenged for some reason.
The POA isn't living up to their obligations to the person they are POA for. Or they are doing things like robbing and stealing from the person they have it for. Or the person's health and welfare that the POA is responsible for is being neglected. For example, they are living in unsafe and unsanitary conditions. They is evidence of physical neglect such as lack of hygiene care, food, medicine, and medical care.
These are all reasons why a POA should be challenged by petitioning the court for guardianship.
POA documents should be updated every few years though with the law firm who originally did them. This makes everyone's life way easier.
Four months have gone by and she isn't willing to hear about my mental health crises. We communicate only in email because she's unable to handle this in a face to face conversation.
Please read my comments in this thread to see if this indeed qualifies for guardianship. I am somewhat capable, but my living situation is becoming more and more difficult every day that I don't have my daughter's willingness to help me. Her reactive anger is pushing me away, where she wants me to remove her, so she doesn't have to feel guilty for abandoning me.
Signed,
Scared and alone
It is very expensive setup and on-going for a guardianship or conservatorship in California. It's invasive and they do nothing but look around and say, 'ok - you're ok to care for him/her' and walk away with thousands of dollars.
I say don't unless you are pushed to the wall to do it.
More info would help with correct answers.
Do know that guardianship is often easier to get when an elder is hospitalized and you can throw yourself upon the mercy of Social Workers, who often can get temporary guardianship done by a 15 minute call to a judge in some states.