By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
If you have senior companions in your community (look up RSVP in your phone book), they may have someone who could visit with your mom some days. There may be someone from your church who visits elderly people alone, as well.
But you absolutely have the right - and likely need - to have a day for yourself. Your mom gets lonely, which is understandable, but you have to take care of yourself, as well.
Carol
Otherwise, if you do not, YOU will become the one who becomes resentful!! Stop beating yourself up: you deserve it! Slot out some time for yourself every day, as I do. If she doesn't like it, too bad!! She doesn't own you!
Guilt seems to be a constant companion when you are a caregiver. Try to push it to the background and don't let it control your decisions. You need to work. You work. You need a day to yourself. You take it. As long as you are providing for your mom's safety and comfort, you need to take care of your needs, too.
We may know what we need to do, but it doesn't mean it's something we are ready to do yet, or are even capable of. Some of us are capable of the separation, or the taking of a break, but not all can live without the guilt. So be nice. Encouragement works better.
You cannot keep giving of yourself, if you do not put into your OWN bank. You can try of course, but at some point you will come up dry. Trust me, you don't want to go there. It's a sad and scary place, and there is no one there to take care of you.
If you begin to hear those little voices in your head telling you that you are being selfish or mean, tell them to STFU! If there are any people in your life telling you that you are mean and selfish, tell them "I" said to STFU!
Even the very nicest and sweetest and kindest patient in the world can suck the life out of you. TAKE A DAY OFF. TAKE 2 or more if you can. If you have a crabby nasty patient, TAKE 3 or more, or just haul them out to the trash on Monday. ROFLMFAO!!!
KariSue, you are giving your husband an awful lot of your time. I suspect you are the one paying for his being in the hospital by working fulltime. Give yourself a break honey!!! I know you love him, but Please for the sake of your physical and emotional health take either Saturday or Sunday ENTIRELY for yourself! Maybe consider only 1 phone call a day as well? I think if you continue on like this you may break down. Then who would care for your husband? For certain there would be no one to take care of you.
See All Answers