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It cost a fortune to live in managed care. It's not a hotel. You don't have to grease the porter who carries the luggage or the maid who cleans your room and brings the clean towels.
I often ask people of they think they tip their doctor? Or their auto mechanic. Or the cashier who checks them out at the grocery store.
I was a supervisor at a high-end AL. The supervisors and administrator had a meeting to decide your actual question. They took my suggestion that small gifts (not over $20) could be given to staff members of choice by residents and their families.
There were a lot of boxes of chocolates and wine.
The facility your husband is in is going to pool the money collected and give a percentage of it to the hourly employees after they take their cut. I wouldn't give to that if I were you.
If there are particular aides that take good care of your husband take care of them on the down-low.
At Easter I took a very large box of pick-a-mix from the Russell Stover candy store. All individually wrapped pieces and a huge variety for all tastes.
Best way I've found to try to give something back to the staff at my mom's place. They also have a no tipping rule and request that those who want, donate towards their staff party, all funds to be used for raffle prizes (gift cards).
Another ethical consideration: I'd respond to such a 'suggested' amount to 'donate' with a few written questions before writing a check: How precisely, in detail, are the residents' families' donations going to be divided among the paid hourly employees who actually interact with our loved ones? I don't want it going to the facility manager or anyone at the corporate level at the facility [who, in our case, never knew our names or even made eye contact with us when we came to visit our mom]! And I wouldn't write a check until I received exact answers to those questions.
PS - if you hand out cards to everyone and only include the tip for your chosen few it will be even more discreet.
No one owes anyone a tip or anything else. If a person wants to give a gift or a tip to an individual who they like or who takes care of their LO directly they should. They do not owe everyone else.
As for pooling tips. That is total BS. I did restaurant as my second job for a long time. I refused to work in a place that pooled tips. If I'm busting my backside hustling on a busy night, it's me earning that money not everyone else. It's the diners I was taking care of leaving ME that money, not all the other waitstaff.
I let my employees accept gifts from clients and their family this time of year. Nothing over $100 though.
It’s very unethical for this MC to ask clients to provide money that they are going to use as “bonuses” for their employees which I’m sure the MC will present to the employees as though they are the ones giving their employees these bonuses and they are not going to tell the employees the truth that the money came from the clients. Meanwhile, the MC is making a profit and instead of passing some of those profits as bonuses onto its employees, it’s just going to pocket their profits. This is a rip off.
I would secretly go against their policy and give gifts to employees that helped your LO. If you are going to give money, just place it in an envelope and secretly give it to your LO’s caregiver.
Maybe this is naive thinking. I don't know what's happening in the real world around holiday gift-giving.
I'd say just hand them a holiday card. You don't have to tell them there's a gift card inside. It's a token of appreciation, which is what is meant... from you, to them.
A for-profit business suggesting contributions to a pooled anonymous distribution is a new one by me. I have to agree it defeats the purpose of wanting to give to those people one interacts with and very much appreciates during the holidays.
It's not that those folks behind the scenes are lesser; only they aren't the ones you interact with. Can't it be more personal..?
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