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You would need a criminal defense attorney.
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Reply to Geaton777
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Thinking some more about this, and your POA sister’s role in it, she may think that you have had an easy life because you have never (from the sound of it) had to earn your own living. Even if that is true, it isn’t a moral or criminal offense if that is what you and your father chose. He could spend his money on whatever he wanted, including racehorses rather than his stay-at-home daughter. I can see that it might make your sister angry if times have become tough for her, but that is not the point. In fact, this is the ‘wrong’ time for her to be angry, because as F deteriorates there is more to be glad about in terms of inheritance, and less to be jealous of.

The point is ‘extorting money’. Have you pocketed and kept a lot of money by pressuring F? Could she show that it was done unduly and unlawfully? If you haven’t, I’d suggest that you have a talk to her and to F about the future. Ignore the insults. She has no case.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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My guess is that you are a) living together (“we've lived in the same house for over 55 years”) with F paying the bills and b) you are accepting some ‘pocket money’ expenses, and perhaps some pay yourself because “I have no one to take him so I can have time alone or time off”.

If that is all that is going on (and your pay is modest), I think that both Geaton and Alva may be going a bit over the top in suggesting that it is either ‘reprehensible’ or ‘unconsciounable’. However you are NOT the POA. Why is the POA making threats? Most would be happy for a relatively cheap option that keeps the estate intact. On the other hand, some would be eager to sell the property and access the proceeds ASAP, instead of waiting for death (which may mean that the assets are split several ways). Bear in mind that we know nothing about the facts - for all we know, you may have a ruinous on-line gambling habit using F's credit card, which the POA is desperate to control. But I doubt it.

What does the POA want to happen if you get out of the way? To send F to a facility – with AL being self pay and NH requiring higher care needs? And what does F want? His dementia is worsening, but it sounds from your profile that he is not past the point of having some ideas of his own.

You might consider a) contacting APS to get confirmation that his care is adequate, and b) calling a lawyer yourself to try for an independent assessment of F’s preferences. The lawyer could also check whether F has the necessary legal understanding to consider cancelling the current POA and executing a new one. You might check out the terms of F’s will while you are about it.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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If your sister's PoA is active (meaning your Father now has a medical diagnosis of impairment) then the type of lawyer you will need is a good one.

Even if your Father seems mildly impaired or has some memory loss, it would be unconsciounable to keep asking for money OR accepting money he is giving you. Most likely (unless he has very robust means) he will need that money for his car in ithe near future.

How old are you that you are still taking money from your parent?

We are only getting your side of the story...
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Reply to Geaton777
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Are there reasons here that you are not being forthcoming with any details on this? I am afraid that's not a great "look". So the question really is: ARE you taking money from your father in any way?
Because if so, that is fairly reprehensible. Your father, by gifting you money, unless he is a multimillionaire, would preclude his own ability to get governmental help should he require it from Medicaid in the next five years.

Let your father alone financially.
You will then need no attorney.
And by the way, if you are trying to get money from your Dad, and if he is not absolutely competent mentally, you will need a CRIMINAL ATTORNEY for elder abuse. And since the POA has already warned you, it would be premeditated abuse.
So better be a danged good attorney.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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