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My mom was in a skilled nursing home for rehab and I would visit just about everyday.
It was a smaller nursing home and residents with dementia knew that I was the lady that brought ice cream to my mom and anyone else who wanted some. They didn’t know my name but they knew that I had treats to offer them.
It’s awful for family members to feel like strangers to those that they are visiting. We can only take comfort in knowing that we are there to check in on them and hopefully making there day a little brighter.
My godmother with Alzheimer’s disease didn’t have a clue as to who I was whenever I would visit her at her nursing home. It’s sad because we have so many memories of them and wish that they could remember too.
As heartbreaking as it is, we must accept things as they are.
I think he "knew" I was a safe person for him
I think he "knew" I cared for him
I think he "knew" I was always there when he needed me.
Earlier on when we were at the store he would follow people and he would say to me when I asked where he was going.."I'm looking for my wife" later on when he no longer talked he would just follow people.
I say all that but....
When I would tell him that I was leaving to go to the store he would look at me, smile and give me a kiss good bye. And caregivers told me that when he heard the garage door open when I was getting back he would make more "excited" noises. (My Husband was at that point non verbal and made lots of noises)
So she may not "know" you but if she is relaxed in your presence and trusts you to do things for her be grateful for that. And maybe somewhere in her mind there is a little spark that knows who you are.
If it reaches a point where she is frightened of you, does not trust you then you must rely on others to care for her. The important thing is YOU still know HER.
As the wonderful neuroscientist and author, Oliver Sacks observed, their world is a full world; it is simply a "different world" than ours is.