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Please don't take this as a negative - but being named to "speak" on someone's behalf in a POA is not carte blanche. If you are not able to sit with your mom and have her tell the doctor that she wants the doctor to speak to you directly or privately then your POA means nothing until she is unable to speak for herself. the term "Power of Attorney" is very misunderstood when it comes to family and healthcare.
So let us know your exact situation if you will and maybe someone can help or at least commiserate with you. Remember, those rules are there for the patient - not the family.
What is it you want to discuss? What reason did the doctor give to not talk to you?
The problem with the insurance company is that may REQUIRE other "secret" forms in addition to your POA and for the past 3 weeks I have gotten the run around from Secure Horizons while my Dad has been in the hospital without a voice. Finally, my sister, who is an attorney got them to "cough up" the fact that you ALSO need a form called an an Authorized Representative Form; this is specific to Secure Horizons. In addition I found out that Secure Horizons PURGE their systems each year of your carefully filed POA so it is imperative to REFILE your POA and other required paperwork EVERY year. This is absurd but then Secure Horizons is absurd.
This is what I have learned so far.
Is it a Durable or Medical POA? To a doctor or hospital about all that a Durable POA means is that someone will make sure the bills are paid. A Medical POA carries more weight in this type of situation.
Every doctor that my mother sees has been given a copy of both of my POAs. Upon a cousin's advice, I keep a copy of each POA in each of my cars in case I need to have it for some emergency.
I not only go with my mother on her appointments, but I also contact mainly her neurologist about health concerns.
I definitely agree, if this doctor will not abide by your POA, you need to find one who will.
Are you sure its the doctor refusing, or some officious staff member. Have you shown them the POA that you have? If you have - they should have no problem giving you information.
Nevertheless, you can take your mother to another doctor and they will request her files from the first doctor (they cannot refuse, and in 20 years I have never seen it). Then you can establish a relationship with the new doctor AND his staff.
p.s. always be nice to staff and nurses, if they like you, they can make your life a lot easier.