By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
I’m just wondering if you could coach him to make his verbalisations something more positive, eg ‘great stuff’. I’m sure that politicians with this speech habit have to be coaxed out of it, and I wonder if some poster knows or has read about how it’s done.
If he is feeling like he always has to "pee" he may be suffering from an enlarged prostate, Ask his doctor to evaluate this or to make a referral to a urologist for evaluation and treatment.
I spoke to his GP about the possibility of a geriatric psychiatrist evaluating him and he said it wasn’t possible.
If he is Home Bound you should be able to have a Nurse visit and an Aide to clean him 2-3 times a week.
That's about all they pay for unless you go to a Senior Home to live.
cared for and not in any physical distress so all is good.
I will look at other options and try to find another way.
He is weak and tired, but I am also exhausted so I think the first step is for me to work on my own wellbeing.
He isn't normally a half glass empty person, nor is he negative but his anguish is more sad and weepy so the doctor may be able to help by prescribing an anti-depressant.
I'm so sorry. I don't have advice, only empathy!
I really benefited from watching Teepa Snow videos on YouTube. She does an excellent job of helping people to understand how dementia changes our LOs and why, and how to better engage with them so that you're not fighting an uphill battle or reinventing the wheel every day.
I agree with lealonnie1 that the way you see him now is not how he'll be in the near future, so really you do need to help him make a long-term, permanent plan. I'm also in the U.S. so can't give any input on what resources are available but others on this forum will.
I will try to reassess how he can be cared for and also work on taking care of my own mental health so that it doesn't drag me down. I am just feeling exhausted at the moment so that isn't helping.
His house may need to be sold to finance his stay in Board & Care, or a residential care home of that nature. Unless he has funds to finance it w/o the sale of his home. I don't know how things work in the UK (I am in the USA) but we do have posters who live in England who will pipe in shortly, I'm sure.
No matter what, you can't 'fix' advanced old age nor can you absorb his negativity and bear it for him. He's weak and tired, and rightly so, at his age. You may want to check with his MD for an Rx to address his depression, however. My 90 year old dad did quite well with Zoloft; my 94 y/o mother has been taking Wellbutrin for 10 years now & it does help her moods somewhat, although she's still a huge negative Nelly all the time. If your dad is a 'glass half empty' kind of person, no anti-depressant on earth will fix that aspect of his personality. If he's sad and weepy, well then, an anti-depressant can really do the trick!
Wishing you the best of luck figuring out how to help dad and get back to living your own life!
I will look at other options and try to find another way.
He is weak and tired, but I am also exhausted so I think the first step is for me to work on my own wellbeing.
He isn't normally a half glass empty person, nor is he negative but his anguish is more sad and weepy so the doctor may be able to help by prescribing an anti-depressant.