By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Your mom’s assets and money should be used to pay for her care not yours. I hope you have documented with receipts all the money you’ve spent so you can recoup it if anything is left.
You can’t force your siblings to do anything to help......believe me I’ve been there. They’ll only come around when it comes time to divvy up the money.
Hire the help you need for her care and forget anyone’s inheritance. Best wishes to you.
The causes of dementia and the expense of its care can needlessly, and sadly, divide families. So the family wants you to foot the bill for her care, while they just live their life and wait for the inheritance to roll in. And they don't have time for getting involved in their own mother's care neither, but you do. The selfishness they accuse you of, is reflected in their own egotistical desire for an inheritance.
A spouses frustration can lead to squabbles and dissension within the home. Don't let that happen. So sell her assets, and meanwhile look for some in home care to give you and hubby some respite time. For a more permanent answer, start looking at care facilities to house your mom. My grandmother died at 103 so you could still be looking at several years of expenses. Have those expenses paid by your mom's money, not yours.
Please tell me that you have POA??!!! Does she pay any money to you for living there or for her meds, etc.? Does she get social security? If so, every penny of that should be used for her care.
If she has ANY money, use it for her needs. You are not responsible for that.
Are you insistent on keeping her out of a nursing home? If not, that might be the best solution at this point. Her conditions are a lot to take care of at home.
Do not be upset that your siblings don't want to take her into their homes. This is their choice and they know it is an impossibly hard task. You said yes and have taken care of her advanced problems for a long time.
You deserve a break. You deserve to keep you own money to spend on yourself.
This is going to be hard but you should make big changes ASAP. Siblings won't like it but too bad for them. They have no say since you are the one doing the work. They have no say over how you spend your own money. I would try not to argue with them but just factually tell them the new way things are going to be as you figure them out.