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You will grieve over this, but you are doing the best you can; be honest with your Mother that this is what you must do for your own family and yourself, and that you will be there to help her and visit with her as much as you are able.
You are going to have to accept reality as it is. We are human beings, not Saints. Were we Saints someone would already have filled us with arrows, killed us, and begun to pray to us to fix everything for everyone for eternity.
You owe this to yourself and to your husband and your child. I am sorry, but THEY COME FIRST. You owe to your Mom the love you bear her and as much protection as you can manage.
Don't expect not to mourn this. Only evil people don't feel the emotional pain of others. Let your Mom express her feelings. What she is going through is the long slow slide of loss after loss after loss. She has a right to mourn, as do you. But you do not have a right to sacrifice yourself, and worse, your family.
It is neither selfish nor unloving to admit someone is beyond your capacity to help. It is an act of love to get her the help she needs.
As many others have said before me, placing her in a home will not end all of your responsibilities, just those that you can no longer physically do.