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Thanks for your input. As you know it takes a lot of patience in dealing with
this situation. The more educated we are about it, the better we will be able to handle it. When there are other problems going on, I think we just get
tired and frustrated in trying to cope. Some days are easier then others. Thanks again.
Equinox
Unlike children, people with dementia are going to lose what they know how to do, not gain more skills through teaching and correction. If there are some behaviors that are important to you, you might try working on establishing habits. But I'd limit that to one or two things at a time. A person who is losing his abilities and skills is probably frightened and sad about it. Repeatedly being told what he is doing wrong adds to the disturbing feelings without really accomplishing anything.
This would be a good time to start reading up on dementia, so you know what to expect.
Spitting food out at the table isn't nice. Whether pointing that out is going to be meaningful to a dementia patient depends on a lot of factors. So it may or may not be effective, but it certainly isn't abuse.
the chance that your patient understood you though, is small. someone who is spitting food across the table at other people is not going to understand why you have a problem with it.
the most i would ask them is to "please stop", or i would just say, "no". smaller shorter commands that they will likely remember.