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A senior living with you should not being paying part of your mortgage or a percentage of their income rate that applies to solo occupied private apartments. You chose your house and you need to pay the mortgage. It doesn't increase because a senior came to live with you. If the senior is going to fund the mortgage, then they also need to have equity in the home, which will need to be liquidated to provide care when/if the senior enters a facility.
At the very most, you need to follow the federal income tax model where the square footage of the senior's bedroom (and maybe an attached bath that is solely used by the senior) is used to calculate a percentage against the structure's total square footage and applied to expenses. For example, if MIL's bedroom and bath is 12'x12' and 6'x8' respectively, that's 144+48=192 sq ft or 192/2000 = 9.6% of a 2000 sq ft home. So MIL's percentage of the house expenses would be no more than 9.6% which would include mortgage/rent, property taxes, insurance, utilities and limited _required_ maintenance (roof repair following damage from a rain/wind storm is required, remodeling the master bath is not). You can add additional funds for groceries and consumables in either equal shares of actual cost or as an average increase.
People who pay "rent" or mortgage payments on the whole home in equal portion to the other adults should have equal decision making privileges in the home too as the home becomes "ours". If you want to continue being the decision maker in "your" home, then it's inappropriate for others to commit equal resources to its funding.
Count the number of occupied bedrooms.
Take the house mortgage, (or total rent).maintenance, taxes, insurance, and upkeep for the house in a year. Divide by the months in a year = 12.
Divide by the occupied bedrooms, (or, if you prefer, divide by the number of people.)
Any rent charged up to about 50% of her income should be okay. However,
if she was in a board and care or NH, they would be taking almost all her money for living there. So the percent of her income is somewhat different.
Take some groceries and toilet paper out of her account directly (ATM?)
on a weekly basis. You are right, that toilet paper can add up, and paper towels. This amount can remain flexible, just like your own grocery bill.
As far as utilities, adjust accordingly.
These are guidelines. You would not charge the room rent based upon if your mortgage was $6,000/mo. See Tothill's advice.
I believe an elder living anywhere that has an income should pay their own way, as far as possible.
Second, how many people are living in the home?
If she is not paying rent, that is the first thing to address. 30-35% of her income should be paid as rent.
If she gets $1500 in pension. 1500x35%=525
Utilities, groceries etc.
Total utilities+groceries+incidentals/total number of people living in the home.
Utilities: 300
Groceries: 800
Incidentals: 200
Total: 1300
People living in home: 3
Amount attributed to each person: 1300/3=$435 per person.
So Mum should be paying:
Rent: $525
Household expenses: $435
Total $960
This leaves her with $540 for clothing, etc.
I grew up with a father who got really funny about toilet paper and Mum and I were accused of using too much. So any discussion about charging for TP use is a trigger for me. According to Dad any 'job' could be cleaned up with 4 squares of TP.
You may also want to investigate/consider a care giver or a board and care agreement stating household expenses are shared but your mother pays her own personal expenses like her cell phone, insurance, medications, incontinent supplies, in home respite care, etc. This will help if your mother ever needs Medicaid and may also help you if your siblings ever become concerned about how mom's money is being spent.