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https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/health/info-2017/ways-to-manage-sundown-syndrome.html
Also, talk to her doctor about meds for anxiety. This is merciful since her broken brain is no longer able to get her to a state of peacefulness without help.
Speak to her doctor also about the psychological aspects. She might need calming medications before she moves, even if they knock her out, those meds can be adjusted.
Placement and emptying and prepping a house for sale etc.. is an enormous job, but having her at home would be even more difficult. Bringing in caregivers, if one calls in sick or doesn’t show, or there’s a shortage, guess who will suddenly have to fill in the gaps? You.
It’s REALLY hard to place a parent who needs SO much care, but time is on your side if you can do it earlier. My mom has finally adjusted…if she’d gone in later it would have been rather a disaster for many reasons. Now she’s getting lots of attention and help…I don’t have to worry about skipped caregiver shifts.
So sorry you’re going through this. Tell yourself repeatedly that you’re doing your best to pick the least lousy option out of lousy options to best care for your mom and not lose your mind at the same time. Tell yourself again when the mom storm clouds roll your way. Wishing you the best of luck in this difficult situation…
As for the sundowning, there's really not all that much you can do about it except wait it out. If she gets too ornery or the histrionics get to be overwhelming have her doctor prescribe some anti-anxiety meds that you can give her without her even knowing.
Some liquid Ativan in a drink at around 3:30 will work wonders.
At some point you will have to place her. I'd say do it now while she still may have a chance to acclimate to a new environment.
The afternoon and early evening histrionics is known as Sundowning. Google it for tips. Call her doctor for Ativan or a similar medication to calm her down during these stressful hours every day.
I had my mother living in Memory Care Assisted Living as her dual POA and made all decisions for her, both medical and financial. She was very well cared for by "her girls" as she called them, and things worked out well.
To finance her stay in Memory Care, you can sell her home as her financial POA as well, but check with an Elder Care attorney to find out the specifics of that, and whether you'd need a doctors letter deeming her incompetent.
Best of luck to you.