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My dear second husband Tony desperately missed his father, who was a great bloke. His mother survived another 17 years, and the end was sad but mostly back to the ‘hard work’ of dealing with the details. Tony was never so bound up in family dynamics (lucky him), and his siblings are still around, so for him it’s mostly still missing his Dad for over 10 years.
It's different for everyone, I think.
Then I transferred my attachment to my Mom. She and I were very close although I think I had maybe an unhealthy attachment to her. When she died I took it very hard. I'm still taking it hard.
You face chores and obligations that are specific to “no-parent” status. The age hierarchy in your family resets. The word “alone” carries more weight.
The death of your last parent is extra final, for lack of a better description.
For me it was my dad's death. My mother is alive, but when I moved back home it was like I had to pick up where he left off. I have all the responsibility that he had...in other words, everybody looks to me to lead the family, to figure everything out, to lean on and I find that I don't really have anybody...but I do know God is for me and I am learning to lean on Him. My dad was my rock. I could come back home to get away from the world because I had my dad, but not now...instead of him running the house and family--it's me!
But I guess, I well know if what you say holds truth for me. My dad is the one who really loved me! I hope not! Well see...