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If I had the chance to get quardianship, I know my mom would probably be alive today. I would of moved her closer to me, and interacted with her on a weekly if not daily basis (in AL , not in my home) Yeah . she would've hemmed and hawed about AL , but if she were able to interact more with me and others in her peer group while I had legal control - it would've been much different for her and with time in AL she wouldve discovered a whole new world. I know this.
My husband is 75 , and is in physical decline, even he is exploring in-home help or AL while I'm in another state dealing with my mom's death and estate clean-up.
I have POA, and he's assigned me successor trustee and has directives already in place. We know the plan.
We went through all this with his mother 15 years ago. We never needed guardianship - she WAS sharp as a tack until 24 hours before her death. She held off on morphine until she just couldn't bear the pain any longer. 24 hours of morphone (in home hospice) . . Her body failed her at 78 of Pancreatic cancer.
Anyway . . the state will be the ward if you won't. And do you really want that for your parent? So, it's either one of YOU, or the STATE. Depending on what your end game is, those are your choices.
"The devil is in the details"
I just told the story of my friend. She was in rehab. It was determined that she needed 24/7 care. I assume that her POA could not care for her. The last place my friend wanted to be was LTC for the rest of her life. I asked my daughter ( worked rehab/NHs 20 yrs) if she could be forced to stay there and she said yes. If someone would not care for her or she could afford 24/7 care, they could not do an unsafe discharge. Not sure if state took over or the POA is still in place.
I would not take over guardianship unless u can afford to do it. It really all depends on the kind of relationship you had with Mom to how you handle this. But if you refuse, then the State will take over.
This may mean that the Nursing Home and their Social Workers apply for her through the State Courts so that her bills can be paid, and her money managed. This would ALSO MEAN that you have ZERO to say about what happens to her after that. The state will manage her care as it would be managed if she had no children at all. They will decide what level of care she gets, pay her bills, manage her accounts, decide where she is placed and etc. They are now her "children' there to make decisions for her when she cannot.
Be certain that NONE OF YOU sign papers for her. You don't have that right if you are not POA or guardian, and you would be liable if your name was on it.
Guardianship is heavy duty. You are responsible for everything for her from placement to bills to decisions re health care and etc. If you are not up to that best to know it now. There is careful record keeping needed, and you have to go for SS "representative payee" which is a whole other process, etc.
You might benefit from going together as her children to an Elder Law Attorney (approx 350.00 for an hours consult) to find out the ramifications of what will happen whichever way you go. Ask the Nursing Home if they can suggest a good Elder Law Attorney to see before you make any decisions, or find one in your area. Good luck. Hope you update us as to your choice and how it is working for you.
One more word of caution...remember, if the state is in charge then they are in charge. She may not even be placed in a town near you.
What was the reason for her hospitalization, and where was she living before? Assuming she wasn't at this particular NH, was she at home, or in a different AL facility?
Personally I think going for guardianship is a big leap and requires serious consideration. But I also think the reason for her refusal to sign is a critical factor, including whether or not she has other alternatives for a residence.\
I would also suggest you speak in a guarded fashion with reps of the NH as they may decide to go for guardianship themselves, and as mentioned already, that could take total control away from the family.
One of the attorneys I worked for was involved in that kind of case; it was appalling how much the appointed counsel for the guardian ripped off the estate, as well as how much the guardian dipped his own hands into the older woman's finances.
I am adamantly opposed to hiring "professional" guardians; the family loses total control and the older person is opened to financial abuse.
First, though, please give us more background on the situation. It might be that the family could file for joint guardianship (two or more family members) just to keep commercial hands out of the finances.
The doctor will have to sign papers indicating that she is unable to make decisions for herself.
The Nursing home should have a Social Worker that can help with this process or answer questions.
Talk to an Elder Care Attorney and get the process started.
Money to pay for the Lawyer will come from moms funds not yours. (where I live the court also set a cap on what the lawyer could charge for services.)
The NH needs signed papers so yes, they will ask for a Guardianship order. Only alternative I can think of is if hospital initiate the Guardianship application instead. They can, but will prefer family to do so as it saves their social worker much work.
Same result either way. Family member becomes Guardian or State takes over.
In this case I would try to upsell the chosen NH to Mother - to make it seem HER choice. Mum, it's this place YOU are choosing or SOME NH THE STATE CHOOSES FOR YOU.
Worth a try...?
Sometimes a kindly Doctor sways them... Sometimes they play merry-go-round of Hospital-Rehab-Home-Hosptal until the fight is worn out & they sign or the family is worn out & apply as Guardianship to get off the circuit.
What level dementia would you say your Mother has?
I’d consult with an attorney for your options. Many places, any interested party can petition the court to have someone deemed incompetent and ask that a Guardian be appointed. If family doesn’t want to serve, you can ask the court to appoint a professional person, like an attorney, who has experience in doing it.
If no family member files, eventually, someone else might, like the county social services, it their investigation indicates that she is in need of intervention for her own welfare.
Don't let anyone bully any of you into becoming her guardian if you don't want to do it.