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I agree with Countrymouse, people with dementia can't connect all the steps of what to do.
Also, older people can be quite stubborn, wanting to be independent, not realizing that they are unable to be.
Don't be surprised if they don't take to having a c/g in the Assisted Living. It takes away some of their independence and they resent the intrusion. But it would be better than a Nursing Home.
However, just because there is a c/g present, there's no guarantee that your folks won't fall. A fall can happen even when you have a hold on them. But at least there would be another pair of eyes on them.
You are really in a stressful situation, I am so sorry. I admire your goal of keeping your parents together. With them both having a form of dementia, it is going to be challenging.
The cycle of hospital to rehab and back again is a common one. And, unfortunately, research shows that it typically contributes to the process of worsening dementia and increased falls. You are also at a risk of having more and different medications prescribed with each hospitalization increasing the chances of complications from the meds.
I think your idea of getting additional help is a good one. Someone that is with them so that they do not have to remember to push a button for assistance may help to prevent falls. I would also encourage you to speak to the assisted living staff about a "Do Not Hospitalize" order. This is to alert them that you prefer that your father Not be sent automatically to the ER with each fall. Going to the hospital frequently is disorienting to people with dementia, it exposes them to infection and likely will not contribute to a return to health in many cases. You can ask that you be called so that you can assess the situation.
I am hoping that you have a health care power of attorney for both your parents (if your dad worsens, it is likely your mom's health will also decline). And another option is to ask for a palliative care consult for your dad. They have access to resources that may help. They also will be able to help with ensuring your dad's medications are not contributing to his decline.
I hope you are able to get a sitter or aide for them to ease your worry.
Best of luck.
Margaret
And I can't tell you how much I wish, wish, wish that someone had pushed me into a chair and explained that to me years before I got round to understanding what was going on in my mother's brain.
That doesn't help with the falls, of course. But it might make it less frustrating for you, to see that your parents aren't being stubborn - their brains are no longer up to the process of thinking...
I want to get up
I need help to stand and walk safely
I must push the button
Then wait for a person to help me
To you and me? Couldn't be simpler. To a frail, sick, elderly brain? - WAYYYY too much. Far too many links in the chain of the complete thought process. Not a hope they'll manage it.
Who are you talking to about their continuing care plan? Do you have any advice or support with it?