By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
He said she was suffering and he put her to sleep. I cried. Yes, I'm a sensitive person what can I say?
I told my cousin in person and he didn't say much. A week later I ran into him and he lashed into me telling me that I should have told him the same day because "maybe" he had plans on where to bury her (I buried her in my backyard). Wow, after taking care of his cat that's what I get?
I said to him "if" you had plans for her you should have told me when I let you know that Silver was very sick and dying. I sent you photo's of the blood in her urine, etc. That was your chance to say something.
Anyway, I bought a new couch since my couch is full of her urine (I needed a new couch anyway).
Just wanted to update everyone.
Jenna
I don't think she is ready to be put down (unless a vet tells me different). Being a non-vet I think this cat has diabetes due to her excessive thirst and urination which would require expensive insulin (I can't afford that).
Otherwise this cat seems happy just sick. I just can't believe my cousin and my Aunt won't take any responsibility for their cat.
I will call the vet and have her examined (and I will pay for that).
I am torn as you can probably tell. This breaks my heart.
Do you know how nature does it? We have many wild kangaroos on our farm. If an old man kangaroo is forced out by a younger male, it lives alone until it can’t get up. If we don’t find it, it lies there and is attacked by foxes, which partly eat it alive, starting with the tongue and the intestines. Then the flies get into the wounds, and it is eaten alive by maggots. Sometimes in the process, it is found by ants, which also eat it alive. It is the most awful way to die that I can imagine, certainly worse than crucifixion. Nature does not provide Vets, irrespective of ‘the proper way’. Because my husband has a gun licence (difficult to get in Oz), he is asked by all the neighbors to shoot injured road kill, as well as these old roos. He hates doing it, but it is the kindest thing for the animal. Quicker stop to pain than taking it a long trip to a Vet, for which no-one wants to pay. For that matter, have you ever tried to pick up an injured animal in pain? It is seriously unsafe, even the starling I drowned.
It’s nice that people care about animals, but not good that posters are not supported in sensible ways to cope with problems that are part of the trials of caring for difficult family members. We spend so much time on commonsense for ageing, but for animals common sense seems to go out the window.
My cousin had a cat doing this and spraying in her house, I saturated every area with white vinegar and when it dried the awful smell was gone. It will smell like vinegar until it dries, but much better than cat pee.
You were nice to keep the cat. My brother left his with me for 2 weeks and 3 months later I found it a good home. He is still mad and that was 20 years ago.
Is your cousin taking care of his grandma?
I kept the cat because that was the only way my cousin would move out, it was a trade-off. But my cousin said it would be 2 months at the most and it's going on 3 months now. He refuses any responsibility and I can't talk to him because all my cousin does is bring up how I evicted him.
I do think my cousin is taking care of my Aunt (his grandmother). They keep everything a secret and my Aunt doesn't even call my Mom when they have been not only sisters but best friends all these lives. Very sad.
I researched ‘no kill shelters’, and came to the conclusion that the ‘no kill’ meant if someone wanted the animal within a reasonable time. Your money gives more time and a better chance. Unwanted pets can’t be kept indefinitely.
I haven’t drowned feral cats (we shoot them in the cage trap), but I did with a starling that flew into MIL’s window and drove its beak back down its throat. It was fluttering in pain outside the window, and MIL was crying in distress when I arrived. I filled a bucket, dropped a towel over the bird, and held it under water. It was out of pain in less than 2 minutes. I didn’t enjoy it, and I wouldn’t suggest it for a loved family pet, but it was the quickest, kindest and most sensible thing to do. If this makes someone sick, they really need to think again.
My husband was raised on a farm and you did what you had to do.
Not everyone has an extra 100 to 300 for a shot.
My daughter works for a no kill shelter and it would not be fair to them to drop off a sick cat. These shelters have to pay vets to treat their animals. It may be a reduced rate but they pay. So the cost of putting the animal asleep falls on them. And...shelters are over their limits on cats usually.
I have a feeling your cousin knew there was something wrong with the cat and didn't have the funds to take it to the vet. Diabetes is not an overnight thing. I would tell him if he doesn't pick up the cat, then you will take it to the vet. If its found it does have diabetes or renal failure, you will have it put to sleep because you do not have the time to care for a sick cat. The only thing is, the Vet may not do it because the cat is not yours. So, you may have to say the cat was abandoned.
Cat urine is going to be very hard to get rid of. But thats another subject.
Because I live in the mountains there is only 1 shelter here. I talked to them and they said the cat should be put to sleep and that they recommended 2 vets near me who can do it.
They also said because I'm the caregiver for the cat that the vet would have no problem putting the cat to sleep.
I don't think my cousin thinks his cat is sick (he is in total denial) even after I sent him photo's on my cell phone showing him that the cat is peeing blood. He keeps changing the subject talking about what a horrible person I am for evicting him. That's when I text "goodbye". I'm not falling into that trap.
Bottom line is he does not want to take responsibility for the cat and he left the cat with me so I will take responsibility.
Jenna
When it's all done and said, perhaps, you can send him a copy of the vet bill, and or have them mail it to him...
Sue him in Small Claims Court if it comes down to it.
DO NOT LET THE CAT SUFFER... THE VET CAN TAKE IT DOWN IN A 30 SECOND SHOT... HUMANE... HUMANE.
Please take your cat with a blanket, that you can leave there.. (donate blanket)
The vet will quietly sit with you, and go over all options. The vet understands and knows what is going on, geriatric parent, and geriatric pet, and you cannot do both. The vet will understand. It will be less than a minute, and most likely, less the $100.00 It will be peaceful, and YOU & KITTY will not have to suffer over this.
Life happens, geriatrics happens... This cat is in the geriatric stage.. DEATH IS OK. Don't let is suffer through organ shut down. THAT IS NOT A GOOD WAY TO GO... Trust me>..... This is the better option. Honestly, when it's done properly, YOU and kitty too, will feel better. They will ask if you want the ashes. After moving my aunt, and going through everything. I found CANS OF CAT ASHES... She didn't know what to do either... Let the vet take care of the ashes. Let the cat go... it is okay. You know it will not suffer long.. . 30 SECOND SHOT... I hope I get that when it's my time..
https://oxfordpets.com/how-to-euthanize-a-cat-at-home-without-a-vet/
I have never done this so I'm not advocating it. It is merely an option in your situation. I have no idea what the cost of euthanizing a cat is. May you have peace in your heart whatever you decide to do.
"The main concern is the cat gets medical attention even if it means the caregiver takes the cat to the vet. It is not the cat's fault that it's owner is irresponsible and should not have to suffer because if it. There are several medical reasons the cat is peeing all over the house and once treated the situation could be cleared up."
I agree that the best thing that you can do is to take the cat to the vet or shelter and suggest that they contact your cousin and ask him if he wants the cat to be treated or surrendered to the local no-kill shelter.
If you contacted your cousin via email about how sick Silver is, keep a copy of that email in case your cousin accuses you of stealing his cat and/or murdering/killing it to get revenge on him.
Thanks so much for taking the extra time to e-mail your pet shelter, that's so nice of you!
As I posted before because I live in the mountains we only have 1 shelter here and I spoke with them yesterday and they said basically what your shelter said. That because my cousin is being irresponsible (no surprise there) and that I am the caregiver for the cat that it's fine for me to bring the cat to the vet. I am 99% sure the vet will want to put her to sleep.
Yes, I am keeping all the texts between my cousin and myself just in case he wants to get revenge. I don't trust him and he is an angry person who is not thinking straight but that's another subject.
Thanks again,
Jenna
The cat is suffering, and you don't have the time nor resources to care for it. I'd take it to the Animal Shelter and let them deal.
My DD's dog has kidney failure and diabetes and she is a FT job and they DO the shots and blood sugar tests--when frankly, this little animal should be euthanized. She's miserable.
On top of a sick mom, you have a sick cat. Put your priorities in place and be humane with both (and yourself).
Your bother is not coming back for this cat, and you know it.
Taking care of a diabetic cat is almost as much work as caring for a human with diabetes.
For me, any animal that is routinely urinating all over my house is a temporary pet. My DD's dog is 14 yo and was NEVER housebroken. They come to visit, they bring their incontinent dog. She's totally ruined my carpeted family room and the only saving grace is that she is a Pom and although she pees everywhere, it's not a huge puddle.
No, it's not your responsibility to take it to the vet, but it can be taken to a no-kill shelter and you can know you did the right thing.
The shelter is very unlikely to deal with an ill 18 year old cat. I live in San Francisco where they pretty much try everything, and try to deal with everything, but often the most merciful thing to do with an "unadoptable" animal of this age is to put it mercifully to sleep.
I am a cat lover, a dog lover, a squirrel lover. There is no animal I don't love. But you have not the time for this and cannot deal with it. It is not that my heart doesn't go out to the owner of the cat; it is that there is no real answer for this. We are not Saints. We cannot work miracles. We are not without limitations. Your first duty is to provide a clean, skid free, safe place for the elder who is taking up all your time. Write the letter today. If my suspicions are real and there is no address, then call and say what you have to say. Tell him that you will leave a message the day you deliver the cat to shelter. Give a month.
Sorry for kitty. Sorry for you all. Not everything has a good answer.
I feel really bad for the cat but this is not my cat. I am also an animal lover but again, Silver is not my responsibility. My Mother is.
I am tired of cleaning up the cat's urine, etc.
Thanks again for your input, Jenna