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The worst thing you can do is to tell him he IS home because he won't be comforted by that statement and may actually get more agitated instead. Hug him and tell him you love him very much and hold his hand, kiss his cheek. Let him know you'll always be there for him as a familiar loved one. Then offer him a snack or to walk around the grounds with him. Divert him, in other words.
Best of luck to you navigating a tough situation.
NanainUkee
or, he is depressed and maybe could use some meds for anxiety;
or, he is Sundowning and the "home" he wants to go to is actually his childhood home (this is a feature of dementia).
Was he recently placed? Is he on any meds currently? You can ask the admins for advice -- they've handled this issue plenty of times. I wish you peace in your heart as you work to help him.
My pat answer is " When the doctor sends me a letter that says you can return home I will let you know until then you have to stay here".
Have you considered not visiting so often, let him get acclimated to his new home?
Good Luck!
I will add this thought to other suggestions.
Nanain Ukee
I have been saying this at least 3 times a week for about 10 mos now. "Lying" to him is so foreign to me, but this disease is horrible and has robbed him of any sense of logic.
I always tell my dad none of us want this for him when he says things like he doesn't want to be there. And that makes him feel better, it calms him.
Wouldn't you like a few days off a week to just do something for yourself and not have to worry about going to visit your LO?
And if you're answering no to the above question then it may be you who has more of an issue than your LO.
You yourself say that your LO is in "an excellent memory care facility" so you should be able to stay away for days during the week knowing that he is being well taken care of.
And it may just be YOU that's reminding him about home thus by seeing you every day it reminds him that he's not home.
Why don't you try just visiting 3 times a week and see if that helps? It certainly won't hurt as it will give you more time for you to do things that you enjoy, and it may just let your LO adjust to his new home.
NanainUkee
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