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a close friend went through this too. Gradually she came to understand that the person she was caring for was no longer her Dad. Alzheimer’s stole his past and his identity.
she was becoming afraid of him and his violent outbursts.
finally came the day he attacked her with a knife. He honestly did not know her and was sure she was trying to kill him.
with My own Dad, I could see the violence escalating too. I was days away from moving him into a MC facility when he suddenly died.
please take care of yourself and make sure you are always safe. Take heart. Know that you are doing the best for everyone involved.
Recognizing your limitations is key. Will you emotionally be able to do this? Will mom be receiving the best care possible? What would be the best solution for mom? I would think that the pros in a nursing home would be the only option with your hesitation.
I am sorry you are going through this. Many time the most difficult is being honest with ourselves. This is not something that can be fixed.