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I really do recommend you get through to your father, SOMEHOW, the necessity of placing BOTH of them TOGETHER in Assisted Living. I did that for my parents back in 2014 after dad broke his hip; neither of them were able to live independently any longer, and the stress of it all for me was horrendous. So, I feel your pain. Dad wound up passing away in 2015 & my mother till lives in Assisted Living to this day, in Memory Care now since last June. It's just too much to care for them alone at home and I don't blame you for being scared & upset. TELL that to your father & ask him to please be reasonable here, and not to expect you to deal with such a tremendous load yourself!!
Sending you a big hug and a prayer that your dad will stop being so unreasonable and that he'll allow you to look into Assisted Living for them. Good luck!
Have you considered having your mom placed in AL or NH? I’m not saying that being cruel but at one time was forced to make such a decision. It was a while back but my mom was deteriorating quickly and we could no longer manage her ourselves. It wasn’t helping her and I could see that it was killing my father. It was a difficult decision but one that had to be made. She went into a local NH where she had the 24/7 care and medical attention she needed and my father visited her every day. It may also give you the peace of mind to know they are both safe so you can continue school and not worry quite as much.
You definitely have a full schedule, but is it possible to go with your mom to her dr’s appt? Maybe schedule one for when you’re on spring break? It may make a huge difference for your mom and also give you peace of mind. For my dad, we opted for no further intervention for his Afib (dr recommended the watchman procedure) so we looked into palliative care. Ultimately we decided on hospice care and it’s been wonderful. Now I have medical staff that I can call any time, any day and he never has to leave the house. It’s been a God send.
Hoping something in our experience is helpful to you. Wishing you better days.