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other people have irrational reasons. Those people you will not likely change.....
What is your mothers diagnosis?
Does she have dementia? Other medical issues? How old is she? Is she mobile?
At some point you need to take "control" and help her out. I am sure you resisted help in the bathroom when you were young but she was there anyway.
You can try attaching a Bidet unit to the toilet that she uses. But that is IF she is going to understand how to use it and will use it. If she would allow you to help her you could "control" the operation of the bidet.
Also at some point if she has problems managing on her own you will have to take control of that. Either she moves to a facility where her needs will be met (Assisted Living or Memory Care) or she moved in with you or you move in with her.
If she does have cognitive issues they will not improve and will worsen so this is a situation that will become more dire as time goes on. Unfortunately often things have to reach a point when some catastrophic event removes choices from you/her and forces you to make a choice and often at that time options are more limited.