By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Then, I would not wait for a crisis—death or disability of the current caregiver—to find a good place for him. Start that search as soon as you understand your/his options.
A group home offers your brother his own community of friends, probably a job. When my friend’s mom recently died, her brother’s group home housemates and care staff came to the memorial. It was the first time the brother smiled! (It was an incredibly moving moment to see these mentally disabled men all together there offering support.) He was comforted by his friends. Some of these guys lived together for over 30 years. They are their own kind of family.
Yes. You will need to choose carefully and be involved in overseeing his care, but he will have a fuller life.
Wishing you peace in this process.
A couple lived there 24/7 and CG's came each day for some of the residents, some worked and were collected by a group bus. I know they ate meals together and socialized as best they could--There were 4-5 residents at any given time and I always felt that they were happy & cared for.
Of course, varying degrees of competency, as you would find in such a place--but overall, I believe it was affordable and gave a measure of independence to the residents.
The homes were kept immaculately, which was a concern to us as neighbors, but the yards and such were always pristine.
Maybe you can check around your neighborhood and see what may be available for your brother. I know for a fact that several of these men were on SSI as their only form of income.
Good Luck!!
Apply for Medicaid and go the group home or NH route.
This is a rough situation. I know first hand how hard this is.
Good luck.
I have a physically challenged nephew. I am lucky he can live on his own with some overseeing. Thru the Dept of Disabilities I was able, thru the State, to get him a housing voucher, a coordinator and an aide 5 hrs a week. The aide does household chores, takes him to appts takes him shopping and runs errands. Where I live there are no group homes. There are people that are paid by the State to care for challenged people in their homes.
If you cannot care for ur brother nor the person who is caring for him now, your only option is Medicaid paying for a group home or a NH. If you have no POA or guardianship, letting the State take over his care maybe ur only alternative. I am 74, my nephew will be 34. His future means Dementia because of a neurological problem. When that happens, I will not be able to care for him. So he will go to a NH.
Mothers (fathers other family) of children with special needs have a tough role.
Many will help them become as independant as is possible, including assiting them to move out & into a group disability house.
But many won't. Prefer to protect or take on all the care themself. Some may see it as their responsibility for life. Without a future plan, these adults can be left stranded - as you know first hand.
I would look for a good social service, an experienced social worker who works with adult disability. Meet with all the key people, your sibling, your relative, you. Let everyone have their say. State want they want. Go from there.
Not every want or wish will be met. Compromise is often made.
It may take many weeks/months to find a new path, a new home.
Strength to you for this journey.
Where I am in Oz, the old institutions for people with intellectual disabilities were closed down in the 1980s because of new ideas about ‘community support’. Small group homes were set up with funding but management associations to run them, and with various built-in supports (for example to use the bus system to get to a sheltered workshop). It wasn’t all smooth sailing – for example one committee I knew tried to stop residents going outside on their own in case of liability and insurance issues! I worked with lots of the associations as part of my management support work. Some parents insisted on keeping their adult children at home, often the same people who had refused using the institutions, but it’s not common and wasn’t encouraged. The life is too limited - smother love.
There may be nothing like this in the USA, but I would be very surprised because there are hundreds of families involved. My suggestion would be to find the association that is relevant to your brother’s ‘mental handicap’ – there is bound to be one, especially if it’s common like Downs Syndrome – and find out the options from them. They will have the knowledge and the expertise. This is not one to do on your own!
Yours, Margaret
That's the 1980's for you. The third worst president in our history Ronald Reagan shut down most of the large, residential facilties for people with intellectual and psychiatric conditions in favor of the 'community support' option. It sounds good in theory, but in practice is a disaster.