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If grandma is exhibiting signs of dementia, she would no longer fare well in an independent living apartment and would do much better in Assisted Living with a Memory Care annex IF she has the money to private pay. You could always suggest that arrangement to your father over the phone if you think he'd be amenable to such a thing. Otherwise, your hands are tied really b/c this is his mother you're dealing with and he probably has POA for her.
Come here to vent anytime, and/or to ask for advice. Many people are in the same boat you're in so you're bound to get some counsel from people you can relate to.
Wishing you the best of luck with a tough situation.
You could try to file for Guardianship for your Grandma. At least if you are her Guardian she will be safe(r). At that point you can move her to a Memory Care facility that will be able to care for her 24/7 as she declines.
I suppose at some point you will also have to deal with your father as well and finding care for him as well. (get one thing taken care of first)