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I was happy in the beginning to look after her. She only thanks me for taking the garbage out. She thinks i
I'm a horrible mother
and dont know anything about life. Her house is half in my name and half in hers because she wanted to settle her will. She hates it when we try to change something with the house like new windows, new furnace etc. I just put up a trampoline for our son the other day and she flipped out claiming this is her house and we should listen and do as she says and that we never asked her permission for setting the trampoline up. My husband doesnt own a piece of this house yet he renovates, cleans and pays for everything. She never thanks him for the things he does. I'm frustrated and feeling abused verbally.
I would advise you run as fast and hard as you can. Get a restraining order against your parents if possible. Depending on the state you reside in, you may have responsibilities to your parents under the law. Move from that state. If they have put you in jail already, then they are beyond your care anyhow. Let the state which put you in jail take care of them.
Medically, the chances that there is a magic pill somewhere that will turn your mother into someone who is fair, reasonable and "good" are not very high. Last year, about a million people received electroshock therapy. Even though the doctors know that it has no long term benefits and has recently been shown to cause permanent brain damage (in rats, that is), they zapped them anyway.
My point is that some people are just "broken" and no cure is presently known.
Legally, even if you had two briefcases full of proof that elders can in fact abuse their family caregivers, if there are no laws in place to provide a remedy, you will probably be wasting time, money and energy, and you might get boomeranged again even worse than before.
That might sound gloomy, but I think you have to decide if you are trying to help your father, your mother, yourself, or what. Try to imagine what you would actually like to happen, and then figure out if it is possible. Don't expect too much from the authorities because laws to help family caregivers are probably decades away.
And if you are NOT in the United States, then my advice would be the same. Get the heck away from your parents. You can help them from afar and not get jailed in the process.
Blessings Bridget