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* Put your notification in writing.
* Mail it if necessary (certified mail with return receipt)
* Contact another involved if your parent(s) is unable to address this need / is not responsive to you/r need-request.
* Hire an outside person to manage: Guardian ? Conservator ? There are professional people that handle these needs if there are no other family or friends able to take on this responsibility.
- Call / find an attorney who can do this (or they have staff that can).
My heart goes out to you with your brain tumor diagnosis; I hope it is resolved and that you heal completely.
Gena / Touch Matters
If your parent is incompetent, then not to worry. At the time they need a POA (which ONLY happens while they are living) you would contact an attorney and say you cannot serve. At that point the state would be appointed guardian. If another family member wished to assume POA for this living but incompetent elder the attorney would help in getting temporary guardianship for them.
As to after your parent's death, it is the executor who matters; POA is over with at the point of death. If the executor cannot serve the court will appoint another. But if you can do all this now with a competent parent, see an attorney with your parent and take care of business. So sorry to hear about your diagnosis and wish you the best of luck.
If the person that has named you POA (I am going with that assumption for now) is cognizant you tell them that you can no longer fulfill the role as POA and they can name another trusted person to fulfill that role.
If the person is not cognizant you need to find out how to step down/resign from that role. You could talk to the lawyer that drew up the POA forms.
If you mean that you have been named as executor of the Will when the time comes and you feel that you can not do that inform Probate Court.
Now for you personally...
You do need to take care of your own health first and foremost.
I wish you well in your treatment and recovery.
You should have a copy of the POA assigning you. If not Aunt should have it. This should tell you who the lawyer was who wrote the POA. You contact him and tell him you need to step down. As said though, this leaves Aunt with no POA and not able to assign another. That means a family member gets guardianship ir the State takes over her care.
POA does not mean you physically care for someone, you just take care of their finances and make sure their wishes for their healthcare are carried out.
What are you currently doing for your parent? Are you providing hands-on caregiving? Or just management? If so, how much?
What is your parent's current living arrangement? Do they live with you or on their own and you check in on them?
I'm so sorry about your diagnosis. I wish you all the best in your treatment. Please provide more information so that we can give you the best guidance.
You mention being unable to care for your elderly parent, So I think you’re talking about a POA. If I have that right, then one additional comment: the POA doesn’t require you to care for the parent. Just gives you the ability to make financial or healthcare decisions on their behalf. It doesn’t require you to do the actual caregiving.
Apologies if you already know this, but wanted to make sure these basics are covered. Everything sort of depends on these two points.
To answer your original question, as far as I know no one can be forced to act as the POA if they don’t want to or can’t. You should tell the parent immediately so they have the chance to assign another power of attorney To make decisions on their behalf,, if they still can.
Other people on this thread can perhaps weigh in on any formal steps to shut the POA down, I’ve seen different opinions about how this is done and how important it is but I do believe that if you can’t serve as the POA you will not have to legally.
Edit: I see in the original question of the person has dementia. That means they may not be able to reassign the POA. If you can’t stay the POA, then it would be as if they didn’t have one at all, and there needs to be thought towards guardianship. This is a whole different topic.