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Social programs are not the solution, they were never intended to be, they were intended to help people make ends meet, not pay for everything for their entire lives. I am not saying this is dgc's intentions or words, I am saying that the wording used is a hot button.
If she pays u rent, you should have an agreement written up. Same if planning on being a Caregiver and need to be paid. Spend down, can be her residing in an IL, AL or LTC. It can be prepaid funeral expenses. But you say the proceeds will be substantial. For me I would use it on a nice AL and if a LTC facility is needed, private until its gone and then apply for Medicaid. If u don't think Mom will need Medicaid within 5 years, then ask about a Trust being set up.
Now, if you feel Mom will not need Medicaid in within the next 5 years, there is really no problem. I would see how the proceeds can be set up so they don't go to Probate.
I do have a lease agreement written up by a lawyer already signed and I am looking into a personal care agreement to see if I can get “paid” a few hours a week as her caregiver. I believe she can also contribute to the groceries and other household expenses. And I plan on paying for some help to come a few hours a week so I can get a break
I don’t need or want her money but she is 91 and is rapidly declining. I prefer to see her use the money now rather than having her lose it all to a nursing home later. I’m hoping it won’t come to that but at 91 it’s highly probable that she may need one by the time she’s 96.