By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Dementia is a terminal disease, with or w/o "other physical ailments" going on.....IT will cause a person to pass away.
I'm sorry you're faced with such a difficult situation. My best wishes to you and your family.
Just because your dad was once a doctor has no bearing on any of this now as he's not only demented, but is having hallucinations on top of it.
Let your mom die in peace where she is at, and ask for hospice volunteers to come visit her more often(if you're not able)so someone can make sure she's receiving the care she requires and deserves.
If you want to do this then bring her into your home and let your poor dad blessedly OUT OF IT. He is correct. The woman he knew and loved is already gone.
I cannot tell you how disappointing it is to me that you would consider bucking your father on this at this last time.
This would be VERY POOR decision making. IMHO.
She's more than likely just having a nurse coming once a week to check on her and aides to come bathe her twice a week. That's not much in the big picture of things. The rest of the OP's moms care falls on the staff at the nursing facility.
But yes, you are correct, hospice is covered 100% under Medicare, and yes I agree that Op's mom needs to stay where she's at.
Go see an eldercare lawyer about splitting assets . It may be necessary at some point to place your father in a care home as well if he’s going to run out of money . Then you sell his home to pay for his care .
Don't do it unless you want to bring your mother to your "own" home. Both parents together would be like the blind leading the blind.
I understand your thought, it's best if Mother passes at home but it could be an "unsafe" discharge. I realize the nursing homes could never provide what you would but too much can go wrong with this scenario.
It's not uncommon that your loved one accuses you of stealing from them as my mother thought I stole her mattress. They can't help it. I think you already know your answer.
Do you really want your mother to be taken out in a rescue and the Dept. of Elderly Affairs coming in and removing one of them. This could happen. Would you supervise 24/7, I would think not.
It's not the issue convincing dad but the plan is not a viable one I'm afraid to say but I have to be honest with you. You're setting yourself up as well as your parents for a lot that can go wrong.
I don't want to dress this up but sometimes you hear on the news, that nice old couple next door, did what, and he was such a nice man, a doctor, can't imagine. They seem like such nice people. Doesn't matter, both of your parents need to be to protected from one another.
Since it is money you are worried about, the attorney can help you understand how to split dads portion of their assets. As the community spouse he will not be left impoverished and all his expenses considered. The house is exempt as well as one car. When they both pass you can sell the house and pay Medicaid back.
With two parents with dementia surely you have noticed you can’t convince them of anything. I have to wonder why anyone would ask his opinion BUT since you are concerned he might abuse her, it doesn’t sound like your best option.
If you brought your Mom back home to your Dad, chances are that if your Dad has just one caregiver, she would not be able to care for both parents, thus another 24/7 caregiver would be needed. If Dad has 3 full-time caregivers each day, the cost would go up, maybe double if they needed to also care for your Mom. That could cost your Dad, closer to $35k or more per month. Can he budget for that? If not, no wonder he is upset, running scared.
You mentioned "they both have no physical ailment other than dementia need to budget for". Please go to the top of this page and click on "CARE TOPICS", scroll down to Dementia, and read every article available to get a better understanding of dementia.
The previous care times, absolutely agree!