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You don't need to give up your own life for them, even though you love them. They can get help filling out papers. It seems they need to feel responsible for themselves before they will do anything. You can advise them as to where to go for the paperwork, and then you may have to let them crash, financially. You could find that they suddenly find ways to get along on their own.
Don't let this ruin your marriage and your hopes of a family. You deserve a life, too. It's agonizing to detach and cut off family, and I hope your husband will give you lots of support, should you go that way. Please seek out Al-Anon or Families Anonymous for extra support and understanding.
Carol
If the sins of the Father are visited upon the son, then alcoholism is certainly one of those sins. It runs in families until someone in the family recognizes and changes the pattern. You have the awareness and strength to change generations of abuse which has been visited upon the sons and daughters (you included). You can make the difference where generations before you have failed! It will take all your willpower to stay the course because just like your family you have grown accustom to these behaviors and changing them will feel strange and harsh at times, which is probably why no one has changed yet.
You must have support and al-anon is a place where you can get it. There are people there who have already gone through this and understand what you're facing. You can heal the generations that came before you as well as the ones that will follow you, THAT'S HUGE! That makes you a very special and valuable person. Determined that the sins of your forefathers will no longer be visited upon you or your future kids. You really can do this, I know I was there too.