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🙏 that all goes well
Congratulations! I hope the transition happens soon and goes well.
Have MIL ask questions at the senior communities (nicer term than facility) like about the food. And make sure she can ask some of the residents how they like it. Any place that doesn't want you talking to residents is a red flag.
Again, MIL needs to be driving this home for *her* husband while you and your husband help them choose the place that's right for them.
Maybe after listening to your FIL grieve, you can keep adding this truth to each and every conversation about the move.
It may bring a bit of peace.
Will they adjust? They won’t have any other choice. Chances are they will adjust in time.
If they don’t adjust, you can’t do anything about it, other than speaking to their doctor about meds to calm their anxiety.
I believe those who are vulnerable will pick up on other people’s anxiety, which is probably why your husband isn’t going overboard with discussing their situation.
I am sure that this isn’t pleasant for your husband but he is doing a great job of managing his emotions.
Best wishes to all of you. Let us know how it goes after they are placed.
And, can you get them excited about this....such as they'll meet other seniors to have a social life with - have meals with in a dining area - activities planned, etc. If anything, you can let them know that this is still providing them with independence - but they can get some assistance in the things that they need. They'd still be enjoying their lives - they shouldn't have the mindset that it's a punishment. Maybe they need to understand the difference and that this will provide activities and meeting new people.
Wishing you the best ~
Make sure they know the seating arrangements, so as to not cause issues
AL is an apartment, that's all. They do not require the residents be cared for by staff or have their bottoms powdered after a bath.
The residents can cook in their apartment which has a microwave and a fridge. They can order take out.
They can walk out the front doors after calling a cab or an Uber.
Stop talking about AL and take them to SEE an AL or 2 to actually lay eyes on the luxurious hotel like amenities they'll be "forced" to live with.
Ask to be shown an activity calendar for June too.
You will always have people like Cover who are grossly misinformed about Assisted Living and what it's REALLY all about whispering horror stories in your FILs ear. Until he sees for himself he's being "thrown out" of a boring house into a whole new lifestyle of autonomy and activity he can choose to partake in or not, his choice.
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