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If at anytime your step mother hits or otherwise is threatening to your dad or anyone else you or whoever is there should call 911 and request transport to the hospital. Tell the dispatcher that the person is elderly and has dementia. Also tell them that there are no weapons in the house. (Please get rid of any or lock them up if there are any)
Once at the hospital ask to talk to a Social Worker. Tell them that she can not be discharged home as it is unsafe for others and that she can not pe safely cared for.
If she has children from a previous relationship this should be discussed with them. As her spouse your father is the primary decision maker unless she has designated someone else to make decisions for her.
Depending on assets this can get tricky and an Elder Care Lawyer might want to be consulted.
I would say she needs placement in a memory care facility for your father's safety as well as hers. Does Dad have all his faculties and can make decisions for his wife if she doesn't have children to help out?
Dad (with you assisting) needs to get confirmation from her doctor that she has dementia or Alzheimer's, and it's time to start researching nursing homes for her. What will happen to Dad if she's in a facility? He sounds pretty frail as well, so you need to decide how to help him. I don't know if he's capable of living alone by himself, and living out in the country isn't a good plan.
Your job is going to be two-fold -- deal with the immediate placement of stepmother, and then deal with dear old Dad.
I would be scheduling a geriatric psychiatry appointment and get her on some calming meds, after she sees a neurologist for an accurate diagnosis. Because some meds make it worse.
Right now, you need to advocate for your dad and that means getting her treated and somewhat stabalized or getting her placed in a facility.
If you have to call 911 and say she is a danger to herself and others to get her placed in a psych facility to make it happen, then do that.
Statistics show that 40% of caregivers die before the person they are caring for. Your dad has a really high chance of becoming a statistic if something doesn't change.
Good luck, this is a damnable disease.