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Boy to I relate about someone sitting in the chair driving you nuts. I need alone time - and I mean alone. The person doesn't have to be doing anything wrong. It's just that some of us need to be alone with our thoughts. For me, some of it is a form of meditation, and without that I have a hard time staying mentally and physiclly as balanced as I like to be.
You don't get that chance. No wonder you are stuggling. Obviously, there are other family issues, as well.
You can't make her do anything, but you could hire an in-home agency and when they come just say, "So and so is here to keep you company while I run some errands." Then go to a park or somewhere you enjoy.
It takes guts, and you won't have your house, which I realize is part of the main problem, but you would get a little time to yourself.
The adult day care mentioned would be ideal, and she'd probably enjoy it if she let herself enjoy it, but she won't if she won't. It's tough to get them to go somewhere physically if they refuse. So, until the time that you move her to assisted living or somewhere, you will have to cope with her at home. Getting out by yourself may be your only viable option.
Carol
It took me last year even with my parents health issues to go on vacation with my family. My husband and two teenage sons. This year we are going again and I have no guilt I need the time with my sons and other family members, and so I don't get burned out.