By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Can you afford to move out.
Could you find employment in your fields at another location.
Can Mom afford more care?
How steady are you in your relationship with your partner..
As suggested contact your are council on aging and see what Mom's options are, and I say options not wants.
Mom will eventually have to accept some changes in her life that is inevitable as we age.
Map out the way you want your life to go then make plans to achieve it.
Provide Mom with options and if necessary help her move.
As long as she has not been declared incompetent and you have POA she can decline anything.
Is Mom low income and depends on you two financially.
Has she applied for Medicaid. If she has it they are more generous with help than Medicare.
Try and change your attitude from "We are trapped and don't know what to do" to "We are in situations that makes unhappy, what are our options?"
Remember Mom will only get worse till you have to give up your job and stay home 24/7 to care for her. it won't be easy but do something now while there is still time.
You may feel guilty and Mom will yell and scream but do what needs to be done NOW
We, of course, wanted all kinds of things when we were children. My mother said, over and over at least once a week, "We can't always have what we want." Sometimes she'd elaborate. "I want someone else to make dinner tonight. We can't always have what we want." or "I don't blame you for wanting that. That would be a great thing to have. But we can't afford it. We can't always have what we want."
Didn't anyone else's parents give them this basic fact of life?
We can't always have what we [think] we want.
So, Dad doesn't want to pay for what he needs. How is that your problem?
Your mother wants to stay in her home. Why would it be your responsibility to make that work?
My parents not only taught me that we can't always have what we want, but also that our actions and decisions have consequences. I passed those lessons down to my children.
Why do we so often think that our parents should be shielded from the consequences of their behavior, and it is up to us to be the shield?
jjariz, it sounds like you picked up my mother's mantra somewhere along the line. Why hasn't everyone? Or is it more a case of knowing that other people can't always get what they want but somehow we should make sure our own parents can.
It would be hard for us to move out because we live and work in the Northeast but we hate our life because we are so trapped. We can go to work and local errands but not much else unless we get a friend to stay which happens rarely partially because my mother doesn’t want to impose on them-she doesn’t think twice about imposing on us.
We can't always get what we want. You have to decide and then make it happen
He wants to be home rather than in a assisted living. So the only option now is to find someone to help him.
Us caregivers sometimes have to do some respectful persuasion to help parents understand what both and they and us need. They don't understand the burden on children because they are in pain. While we feel for them and want to help, we also want to live too while we can.
Rather than APS as such, first contact your Area Agency on Aging and see what resources and support you might find locally. What you want to do is not at all unreasonable; go about it methodically and patiently, and may you very soon make progress.
Where will you and partner go, by the way?