By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
If you see your husband is getting frustrated with a job, maybe a hint is in order. He might resent the hint, but it seems better than frustration. When it comes to housework, maybe he can do the things that don't have many steps.
I can't tell you how very helpful it was that my husband knew his diagnosis and accepted it. Oh, he was not happy with it, of course, and he went through the "why me" anger and "I wish I were dead" depression, but within a few months we both settled in to deal with the here-and-now. His doctor said, "I have to report all dementia diagnoses to the DMV and they will cancel your license. I am very sorry, but it has to be done for safety." He mourned his special edition Miata for a year, but he never tried to drive again. (He drove me nuts as the passenger seat driver, but I tired to be patient about it.)
He had Lewy Body Dementia, which involves Parkinson's symptoms, high fall risks, and extreme variability of cognitive skills.
He didn't think he needed as much supervision as I knew he needed. But it was extremely useful to be able to say, "I know you can stay alone for a while. You are intelligent and have good judgment. The problem is that we never know when ol' Lewy will take over and Lewy does not have a good memory or good judgment. So we'll just play it safe, and someone will be here while I am out."
When he was discouraged because he couldn't do something I could hug him and say, "You are just having a Lewy day, Hon. Maybe tomorrow or even later today you'll be doing better. Just relax here and watch this video about bird migration. Don't worry about anything. I'll handle it."
And we he could remember something that I didn't I'd say, "Hey, wait a minute! Which one of us has dementia?" and he'd laugh. He liked that.
Before he got on the best combination of drugs (which took about a year) and he was falling so often he hated the walker, and I didn't blame him. He would just fall down with the walker! But getting a wheelchair was a huge improvement. He felt safe. He could scoot all around the house in it. His doctor warned that he should do enough standing and walking so as not to lose the strength to transfer. Ha! As his health improved he only used the wheelchair for long excursions, and he went on to bowl with the senior league and golf with a league for persons with handicaps.
My mother has dementia and no one is telling her that. I believe that one size does not fit all on this issue. But when it comes to living with a spouse, I cannot imagine how much harder it would be if you both don't have a clear idea of the diagnosis and the limitations that imposes.
It is good when the two of you together can fight against the enemy, dementia, and not fight with each other.
I agree it seems like dealing with a child....however one can usually reason with a child...so this is much more challenging because some part of their psych has them believing they are still the capable person of " BD" before dementia.
He thinks he can do the sames things he used to/he tries but gets frustrated when it doesent go right....gets annoyed if I attempt to coach him (as he has always thought and acted like he knew better than me. This dementia is an ugly disease for everyone near to Cope with. Rational seems out the door at times....
Start giving him coconut oil and find out the optimum diet for preventing or slowing dementia. Crossword puzzles for brain exercise helps with abstract thinking.
Time to shift your gears about his performance, otherwise you will drive yourself nuts. We resist new chapters, especially near the end of the book.
If we can learn to adapt with Grace and say "This is the way it is NOW," we can move forward and accept life changes better. Stay calm and try to center yourself. Help him in the garden. Meditate and pray a lot. xo
See All Answers