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Go visit and talk to some nursing homes in Florida. I also live in Florida. The nursing home I talked to about bringing Mom from Maryland to Florida advised they would track Mom all the way to Florida on her medical transport. The nursing home was willing to suggest medical transport services to use.
You could find a driver for Dad.
That said, it may simply be cheaper for you to get cheap flights and visit Mom and Dad once a month in Tennessee.
Leave mom in TN and find volunteers to visit her in the nursing home, or pay people, even teenagers looking for a summer project, to visit her. Dad can visit with her. i can't imagine that in her present state she's going to pay much attention to visitors anyway.
Sorry, Suzie, this is one of those life situations where there are no easy answers, but expecting yourself to do so much isn't realistic. I wish you peace with whatever you decide to do.
Thank you for putting it that way and explaining it more. I’m sure I’m just extremely fragile right now but the “fend for himself” comment hurt a little because that’s the last thing I want for him. He is a great guy and a Vietnam vet. i really appreciate you being more sensitive and explaining it the way you did.
I plan on going up there Saturday and hopefully figure something out. Again, thank you very much.
You have to set boundaries you won’t cross .
I realize I’m not answering your question about moving them to Florida, just suggesting you consider other options, for everyone’s well-being.
I feel horrible for my dad and I guess I jumped the gun too soon thinking I can get her here and take care of her myself.
i think at the moment I just need someone to talk to. I feel very, very alone and don’t know what to do to help them. My dad still lives by himself (he should be in an assisted living place but I think he has too much pride and just won’t go). Any advice or words of wisdom to get them down to Florida so they won’t be so alone? I feel like I should just leave and live with my dad but I have a disabled husband and two sons (in their 20’s) who need me.
Thanks in advance.
This is sometimes the case as people don’t always live near family.
There is nothing you can do right now . Perhaps down the road move Dad near you if it’s not too late.
Mom really can’t be moved . Dad is stubborn .
You can’t always fix old peoples problems .
If not unless you obtain Guardianship you can not make any medical decisions for her.
Even if dad said you can take her home with you you would still need his ok each and every time you have to make a medical decision.
guardianship not easy nor inexpensive.
Transporting mom is the least of your worries.
How will you care for her?
And by the way you do not need a "nurse" to help. A caregiver is what you would hire.
First the agitation, anger need to be under control and there are medications that can help.
I also think you need to do a few days shadowing and observing what is done for your mom. And can you really do that at home? (Will the caregiver be 24/7? If not then you will be doing much of the work yourself.)
And one last thing...
Do you not have a job, a family that you need to consider when making this decision?
Where does dad fit in with all this? You moving him in as well? Or leaving him to fend for himself?
Where does Dad go if Mom
goes to live with you ?
Are you thinking she will improve with you and then be going back to her house in TN ? This most likely will not occur .
IMO it’s too late to move Mom , especially if she will need Medicaid in a new state .
She needs long term care in SNF. Let her stay in TN where Dad can visit her during her last days .
It is up to you, but I cannot imagine such a thing.
I would speak to doctor about hospice at this time, instead. Really, it must be up to you, but consider a wait and see attitude for at least a few weeks.